The
100th Psalm of Solomon”And the Lord came upon me and spake :
“The Demon Valek was feeling sexually repressed under the patriarchal system of the middle east. Therefore, when the holy church under the Emperor Constantine was established, he decided to defy all sexual conventions by becoming the first male demon transvestite Nun,”
– The Bible according Rian Johnson and J.J. Abrams
Oh wait a second! Solomon died before Christ and Constantine. So that means he couldn’t have written this text. I guess that means, this is a crock of shit! Who would have thought the same people who gave us Force Awakens and the Last Jedi could suck so bad at faking a new text. Specifically when they have the original Cannon to work from? 🤔
Coughs, sorry we got off topic there for a moment. So my buddy Zack and I went to see The Nun this past Saturday. You know I love the Conjuring Universe. It’s creepy and well done in terms of the actors and the lighting and sets. I legit shit myself in the theater.
But these movies keep claiming it’s based on a true story. No they aren’t. None of it is true. Or perhaps that’s only a half way true statement : the cases happened, but if there was any paranormal phenomenon at all, it did not happen the way they’re being portrayed. Now trust me, if you’ve read my blog you know I’ve had some weird Supernatural experiences.
But everything I have written about thus far is mostly about visualizations. Things I can see and feel in my mind’s eye. I would never believe even for a moment that I could prove what I have experienced. In the paranormal community, the Warrens have a shaky reputation. Some of us like them, some of us don’t.
And some like me don’t know what to believe. My former mentor believed them because she saw videos. Evidence that Lorraine Warren had shown her. My Medicine Woman told me that Lorriane could prove everything she and her deceased husband claimed. But to do so would be unethical they felt.
She won’t release any of the evidence at any point in time. Because she said, they were afraid of outing the families who gave them their trust. Now my healer never lied to me. And she was a pretty stern woman. A Catholic Shaman.
So given that, the jury is still out for me. Even when everything in me wants to scream fraud. I tried to give them the benefit of the doubt once. A person I was helping had a generational curse. I wrote an email to the nephew detailing visions I had about the client.
Now they were nasty visions. The man had a demon of high rank who was causing problems for his family. I figured I’d try to enlist outside help instead of trying to act like some occult cowboy.
But, I never got an email back. When I told a friend about it he said he would have warned me.
The Warrens are very religious people. And to them, a magician like me is the same as a satanist. Even though Lorraine Warren is a medium and talks to dead people. So anyways, what can I say about the Conjuring Universe? The first Conjuring painted all witches as being Satanists. The second one basically invented all of these absolutely ridiculous hauntings based on using a quija board and having Valoc somehow be involved.
Both Annabelle movies are flat out lies that didn’t even get the doll’s appearence right. But the Nun takes the bullshit meter to a whole new level. Badass for lovers of horror like myself, but nonsense none the less. Despite all this, I do enjoy these movies. Even watching them on my phone I close my eyes and damn near piss everytime the door creaks. But a lot of people have been online lately asking about Valek the demon.
Even as I typed in Valek to see if it was the same demon I thought it was, Bing already had it as “valek nun”. So I figured I would take a crack at answering some of these questions on who Valek is.
As we know from the Conjuring 2, the Nun is really the Archdemon Valek. He was called “the marquise of snakes,”. Let me stop right there.
First Valek is the most anglicised version of his name. His name is also rendered as Valoc, Valak, Valu, Volach, Valuc, etc..and he is not the marquise of anything. The Key of Solomon calls him a “president of hell”. This is because Hell is run like a Constitutional Monarchy with Lucifer as Emperor. But they can apparently elect their own presidents.
They seem to have a parlimentery democracy. So he’s not marquise.
Second, while he does find snakes and aids the summoner in finding them, it doesn’t say that he necessarily has snakes all over him all the time. Just that he can find and control them.
Also, Mages used codes with double meanings when writing about magic. Christian Mages used biblical language. So “snakes” here may not mean literal snakes but Demons. The Bible uses the term serpents, beasts, scorpions, etc..for them. That might explain why in the Nun, Volac seems to have a host of demons with him.
Perhaps they are his serpents. Third the serpent thing is not his main office. This demon is called upon by magicians to find treasures. There are many demons that promise wealth and power. He’s one of them.
Though if he does this for real or not depends on how bound he is to the conjurer. And fourth, the most important of all :
He’s not a Fucking Nun!
Seriously, what ‘possessed’ these people to take liberties to this level? Valuc actually has a much more interesting, and creepier appearence than that. He takes on the form of a winged boy. Like the stereotypical version of Cupid we have commercialized. And he rides a two headed dragon. Can you imagine what a good director and writer can do with that? A creepy baby Angel telling you to kill your family.
Maybe even make an adult man’s voice pop out of the mouth. Or perhaps even give him a Silent Hill look like Satan when he takes on the form of a child in that movie. Looking like a small child with pitch black eyes. A Demonic baby cherub. That would scare me more than a Nun. And instead of vomiting snakes you could have him riding an actual dragon around.
“Oh but M, that’s crazy! A dragon? No one would believe that’s a true story! No, people will believe more a story of a Demon with a physical body that vomits snakes and possesses corpses! That’s more accurate!’
No, it isn’t. Because this demon was never encountered by the Warrens. And while demons may have had legit physical bodies in Ancient times they don’t now. And they especially don’t go around jumping into corpses. Or rather, in Folklore they can.
But no modern Demonologist has ever seen anything like that. If anything that strong shows up, you’ll need Sam and Dean Winchester. Not a nun with a priest. Heck the French guy had the right idea bringing an ax and a shot gun with him.
Go evil dead on her satanic ass.
That’s like me, with my regular magic during a zombie apocalypse : I’d be Fucking useless! When you have a flesh eater at your door don’t call me. I’ll be busy bolting the doors closed and trying to make weapons. And doing Cardio like Jesse Eisenberg in “Zombieland”. I don’t want to die because I can’t out run the Zombies. There’s a pretty awesome article by Vice on this.
“Why are so many Horror films Christian Propaganda?”
https://www.vice.com/en_us/article/gqkj84/why-are-so-many-horror-films-christian-propaganda
After reading it I have to agree. It seems that a large chunk of Supernatural horror films have an agenda. And that agenda seems to be conversion. And they don’t even bother to hide it either. They flagrantly throw it in your face.
A heroic priest battles Satan. And then you have “pagan” cults that have a sinister agenda cause really, we’re all the same right? Every movie that has ever been based off the Warrens or their cases are the worst. Even before the Conjuring. There were tv movies talking about them and showing witchcraft as always being satanic. In this movie the young Nun to be hasn’t taken her vows yet and the Demon seeks to possess her body.
The heroic nuns have all been slaughtered. The heroic priest is a tragic figure. It’s literally the same scripts being recycled with a few things changed. In this movie we had a sadistic Duke who killed people to raise Valek from Hell. And the heroic church with it’s Knights led by a priest stormed the castle! I guess they weren’t burning people to the stake that day.
And the priest has a holy relic that contains the blood of Jesus Christ and therefore it can seal the gateway to Hell. There’s no relic on this planet that anyone claims has the blood of Christ in it. There are relics with the blood of Saints but not the blood of Christ. Finally, she discovers that only prayer can stop Valek. And she takes her vows to become a true Nun there before stopping Valek.
If that isn’t a conversion line, I don’t know what is. Over all, the movie was good in the Gore and horror. But the story is pure BS. Though there is a special twist at the end that you’ll love that connects all three movies. I can’t believe I hadn’t recognized it myself.
It is a good set of movies for what they are, fiction. But they do contain not so hidden messages about being afraid of the occult. And needing to be with God in order to have protection. Now me? I don’t mind God. I’m a Christian Pagan. I worship him/her as I worship everyone else.
But just like I hate liberal SJW propaganda in the new Star Wars, I equally hate all of this conservative fear and hate mongering in my horror movies. And as for getting the details on Volac wrong? I already made peace long ago with shows and movies getting things wrong. Just look at Supernatural. They get 99.9% of everything wrong. But they’re still awesome.
And while the Winchesters are not the most enlightened people on Earth, there are good characters on there. There are Pagan Gods and Witches who from time to time are the good guys. And they do it with Christianity too. Angels are all dicks with wings as Dean calls them. Season 1 episode 12 “Faith”, they meet an evil Christian Bigot who is using black Christian magic.
She kills off people she doesn’t like. Which included feminists and skeptics. Now you see that, I can live with. They do this with religion in general. They don’t play favorites with anyone.
They have even played around with the concept of God having a Goddess sister. One who is just as powerful as he is. They have shown a modern day Inquisition. They delve into all sorts of stuff. So why can’t Hollywood do the same thing? Create characters from other religions who are equally holy and good? And if you’re going to shit on one religion why not shit on your own? It’s different when it’s you suddenly.
Anyway I end this post with an interesting article on Valuc which also talks about the Nun at the very end of it.
https://www.demonicpedia.com/demons/volac-valak/
Hope all of you looking up this demon understand that you shouldn’t be trying to conjure it even for money. Spirits hate to be slaves. Especially demons. And for those of you who actually thought this was all real : I hope you get it was mostly fake. I leave you with these two awesome videos.
The Nun surprising people at the movies in the Philippines
https://youtu.be/cv5rUMI2h-c
Adventures of A Mage In Miami 