Ashley Krave belongs to Club Krave, a BDSM Club in Miami and Boca Raton Florida. They like to troll the local politicians. Last time it was Mistress Krave who showed up dressed from head to toe in leather. Along with her two chained slaves, she commanded City Hall to start funding for a Public BDSM Dungeon 😂 I love them. They make the most hilarious pranks.
It looks like the long winter goes on, as death continues to reap the living. After the intense period of the Super New Moon in Aquarius, we have all been left shook. New Moons are times of the dead and bad luck. But a Super New Moon is like Mother Nature was on her period and flushed all the nasty negative shit out. And you better watch out that you don’t get swept in it too. s
As mentioned this year we are in the sign of Otura Niko, the Foreman of Death. And this year is full of death in every which way. My friend just lost his other friend to a car accident. I had to perform a ritual to cross him over last night. And there is the incident of the dead woman who was attached to a statue I had gained.
The irony is that the signs of the spirits are all saying the same thing : drop your to-do lists, relax, be present. Don’t worry about the next thing to do. It’s kind of hard to do that when you have friends and family dying off. Or when you have to constantly watch your ass to make sure the sky isn’t falling. I have a headache.
But not a normal headache. It’s more like a spiritual headache. And I need a pill that lasts the whole year.
Oya the Orisha who escorts the dead to the Cemetery
Today was a mix of good and bad. But I had to navigate through the wads of shit. Quite literally. The first thing that happened was I stepped on a massive pile of dog shit. It looked like a bull had emptied his ass. I had to clean that off my shoe as throughly as possible.
Then later, my damn belt broke in the bathroom of the Olive Garden. And my pants kept falling down afterwards. I felt like I was in a fucking Cantinflas movie. With me needing to make sure I didn’t moon anybody with my fat ass. Then finally, well you don’t need to know what else happened.
Needless to say, this new moon has been kicking my ass worse than a Waffle House employee.
So here in the spirit of the fuckery that is the New Moon in Fucking Aquarius I give you new Astro links. And damn you sarcastic Aquarius sign assholes to Hell.
Oh and I forgot to mention, it’s a fucking Supermoon too. That’s what I get for being a Magus who isn’t up to date on astrology. The original Magi are rolling around in their graves right now. Fucking Hell.
Yes this is a year ruled by Obatala and Oshun (or by Exu and Oxum if you practice Quimbanda). But the sign of the year is what seems to truly be reigning this year. Already, it seems that the Ajogún are on the move bringing with them misfortune and death. Yesterday, my friend got into a car accident. A little while later, I learned that my great uncle had died suddenly.
Between yesterday and today, some of my magical charms for protection against death, started to become overwhelmed. I had to call on the spirits to reverse whatever it was that was sending death this way. And I had to cleanse, re-bless, and recharge all of my charms. And right now as I am writing this, I found out that my neighbor whom I always talked with, died from a heart attack recently. Either just before or after New Years.
I didn’t want to ask the date because that’s disrespectful and insensitive to his poor wife. But it was recent. So either just before or just after New Years. This year is not a good year. It’s not a year that we should all be cheering for.
It is the year of Otura Niko, the Foreman of the Dead.
Friends, things are only going to get worse from here. Before in 2020, COVID was the force used by the Ajogún to spread terror and disharmony. But this year they are mixing the tactics up. Now it’s more like a mix of 2020 with 2019. In 2019 it was more personalized attacks sent to different people.
Personal problems. And 2020 was a massive problem that struck us all. This seems to be a hybrid of both those years. It has all the force if not more, of 2020. But disseminated in ways that will effect us directly.
A friend of mine who has mixed white and native ancestry told me something recently. Now his magic is strong. He works with indigenous spirits. And when my ass has been in danger, he’s protected me. But he has this thing.
And he had the feeling before I even knew it, that this year would be bad. And now here we are. But it gets worse. Last month a fellow blogger named Librarian of the Multiverse had also had a conversation with me. That she sensed that death would be coming this year as well.
In my head I was like, fuck because that’s really what we need now. Maybe it is. Because clearly humanity refuses to awaken from this walking coma we’re all in. I wonder if we have fallen so deeply asleep that the Ajogún have seen us as easy prey. That we’re being targeted now because they see us as dumb sheep that are easy to take out. But now I want to move on to something else.
The Divination (letter of the year) says to stay away from lakes and rivers and even rain water. A friend of mine who is a seer told me something that spooked me. You see, she had no idea what the letter of the year had said. I didn’t have the time to tell her. But she said that something is in the water.
That something is in the water that’s going to kill people this year. No, she’s not a nut job. No, she doesn’t normally say stuff like that. For the very first time in my life, I understood the true meaning of the term “my blood ran cold”. Because I felt ice in my veins hearing her say that.
I feel a rising death wave like in 2020. But this one is worse. Part of me feels like I’m on a roller coaster. I want off of and I am screaming my head off into the void. But no matter what no one is going to save me.
So with that said, I think I am going to give you all a simplified version of the Ebbos or karmic cleansings for this year. Along with some additional advice that may come in handy.
The Ebbos given for this year include animal sacrifices. Which I am against. But I also understand traditions and what not.
I am no one to judge my people and how they follow the ways of the ancestors. I just don’t like or agree with all the ways of our ancestors. I don’t always follow those ways. I actually considered saying nothing for fear of being rebuked by other Santeros saying I am “exploiting our religion”.
Or some other horseshit that the zealots in my faith come up with to silence dissent.
My spirits and my Orisha do not care about whether or not I kill an animal. They accept fruits and vegetable offerings. But they also accept cooked animals. In other words, instead of giving them an animal that is being sacrificed and discarded I give them food. If the Ebbo asks for a roaster, I go out and find a cooked roaster.
It’s not impossible to find. There are some animals that are sacrificed in Africa that don’t exist here. So with divination and research I find what they would accept and grant them that dinner. In places that are sacred to them. I also add the fruits and vegetables anyway as an added offering.
If blood is what they want that isn’t a problem either. There are butcher shops that are willing to grant the meat and the blood. As long as they get paid they don’t care. Again, this is how I do it because my Gods and spirits allow me to. Because my Orisha allows me to.
Do a divination, meditate, and find what works for you. And if any Santeros out there have an issue with how I approach our faith, I don’t care. It has served me well up until now. And until they (the Orishas) or my spirits tell me otherwise I will continue. I am accountable to them, not to you.
Now the offerings in IFA, you can skip because that’s for the order of IFA. The practitioners of IFA divination and magic under Orula. I am going to give you a simplified version of the regular Santero offering. A medium rooster and seven colored strips.
The seven colored strips symbolize the Seven African powers. The other ingredients are only for Santeros. So this simplified version is to ask the Seven African Powers for help. Tie them into different parts of the house. Such as door knobs and in windows to ward off death.
In fact consider making a bracelet of these seven strips for yourself. As an amulet. The cooked roaster is the sacrifice that will empower the charms. They will work against death. Which will be very important because there is an article I wrote which is about charms against death.
In addition to that :
– Honey for Oshun, Brandy for Eshu, Incense or anything holy for Obatala because he’s the King of Heaven. And because Santeria is mixed with Catholicism, Christian things like blessed white candles or incense for him will do.
– And you could get another roasted chicken for Orula, his wife Odu, and the spirits of IFA and ask for their blessings and protections. If you approach them with respect, they won’t care what faith you belong to.
Leave these offerings at a crossroads with three pennies for Elegua so that he will send the offerings to the Orishas. Also this is very important, to a point even more important than the offerings mentioned before.
You need to use any form of protection the dead can give you. Sacrifice to your ancestors. Light candles and incense to them, give them Hades Money, etc… don’t be stingy. And if you don’t already have an ancestor shrine to them, now is the time to make it happen. Because our primary protection comes from the dead.
And also our non human spiritual guides such as Angels, Nature Spirits, etc..we need all of their protections. So when you have a chance give offerings at a cemetery to Oya.
– Nine Purple Grapes
– 9 Red Roses
– Nine Pennies
– A Bottle of Red Wine
For her and for all the dead. You don’t have to enter the cemetery. Oya brings the dead to the front gates. Leave the offerings there and she will share it with the dead. Ask them and her for protection and blessing.
And for mass purification in all its forms. And dedicate that entire cemetery to her and the Gods of the Dead. You should feel different. As if something negative left your body when you pray to her. When you are done, leave a candy offering to Elegua in his Eshu form.
And ask him to send these offerings to Oya and the dead. And then leave without looking back.
Now it’s important to also work within your own religion. If you don’t believe in Santeria but want protection, research these Deities and find someone in your own religion who matches them. For instance, if you’re Christian, the Archangel Gabriel is the Messenger of God (Elegua is the Messenger of the Gods) and he’s one of the Angels of Death.
So he’s perfect for this. And instead of a crossroads or all these offerings, you make a massive donation to your church for him in Jesus name. And Jesus died and rose again. So any offering to him works. And he’s the intercessor between humanity and God which makes him a messenger as well.
Any offering you give to him, give with an open heart and perfect love. If you’re Hindu, do this with Ganesha. And look up who the God of the Dead is. One you are comfortable with and work with them instead. If you are Celtic, work with Morrigan.
She hangs out at the crossroads and she’s associated with the dead. There’s so many options out there. Protect yourself well. But most importantly of all is this.
– Personal offerings to your spirit guides
Whoever your guide is. A God. An Angel. A Faerie. A Ghost. As well as all of your ancestors.
Whoever it is, divine with them and ask what they want and keep giving it to them all year long. By feeding your spirit guide, you are keeping yourself safe. And sacrifice to your loved ones Spirit guides as well. Even do it for your pets. I am.
Finally, I leave you with this. These were special warding rituals I did when the pandemic hit. They kept me and my family safe at the height of the pandemic. We survived 2020 without getting the disease. Even though my Mom is a healthcare worker and she had to enter places that weren’t safe.
Meanwhile people around us were dropping dead. Even those who were supposed to be safe. This protected us. So please, read this old blog carefully. And adapt the rituals for what’s happening now.
Just like on that blog I will keep you updated on events with updates here. Do offerings to all those spirits and Gods. And make the same kinds of charms. Do the same things I did back then. Just adapt them to whatever fresh hell we are going to suffer this year.
You know, most of the time I hate my state. Because of all the crooked ultra right wing politicians. The racists and Trumpists. The crooked mayors screwing over people in frauds against those of us who live here. The predatory insurance companies that charge insane rates and won’t do their jobs whenever a hurricane comes here.
But every once in a while I remember the parts of it I love. Like a small army of militant dungeon masters wanting to spank everyone on the city council. Lol, this time I can say with pride that I love Florida. And all the crazy people who live here.
She looks like a cross between the Mord Sith of the “Sword of Truth” book series and the Cenobites from Hellraiser. Sexy and scary at the same time.
I can already hear Ron DeSantis flipping a shit over this right now lol. Then again, given how many sex scandals politicians have in the US (especially Republicans) she probably has some new clients now. I can definitely see half the conservatives in the state calling her now for secret sessions.
Her name is Mistress Krave and apparently this is also the name of her club, Krave
Don’t play coy with us. We all know damn well that most of the politicians in Florida are into the Kink scene. And it’s usually one of those loudmouth Republicans preaching about family values. I’m sure she’ll be getting calls from DeSantis soon.
“You’ve been a bad boy Ronny, sending those poor immigrants to other states and abandoning them, fucking Florida up it’s asshole, well here, now you’re about to find out what being fucked in the Ass is really like!”
Takes out butt plug*
“Yes Mistress please more!”
Ron DeSantis 2024, because he’s a switch
And meanwhile we have John from the Young Turks on YouTube. Who has some interesting ideas about community funded dungeons. Shit…let the sexual revolution begin baby,
This actually makes me a little sad, poor kitty. Take time out of your busy schedule of rampant meth fueled sex to spend time with your fur babies
So whatdoyaknow? More insane Florida stories! So shocking right? Can you imagine being a realtor. You’re driving to work. About to show a house, and you realize that two people were having sex in the pool of the house! 😱
We got 50 Shades of Grey. Or should I say 50 Shades of Gray Hairs. They were both mid to late 30’s. You’d think they were old enough to not do something stupid like this. But they did…..
Ohhh and they brought some Meth with them!
I mean, who needs Viagra when you can break bad with some Meth, know what I’m saying? Just look at this kid being sturdy. He looks like he caught the Holy Ghost!
Yeah, on the X-Files in one episode about Florida (they had a bunch here in Florida but in this specific one) everyone including the Cops kept saying,
“All the nuts roll down to Florida,”
I lived here all of my life. Some nuts were just born here lol. I dedicate this blog to Bitter Ben also known as Lord Revengerman, the Overlord of Scotland and soon the world!
An actual hotel guest room from a real hotel, the Royal Mandaya Hotel (royal?). Which makes this both hilarious and disturbing at the same time.
Welcome to the dark time of the year everyone. I hope you’re all comfy by your fire or space heater. I also hope that you have sufficient food to eat. And a nice warm blanket to be tucked inside of. The dark time of the year is here again.
Providing both comfort and fear for many.
During Christmas, it was an English tradition to tell ghost stories in the winter. Winter being the dark time of the year, when the Fae and all other spirits had full run of the land. It seems natural for people to have associated it with the dead. After all, things go bump in the night when the sun is gone. And only the holy power of fire can keep them at bay.
But there’s one problem with that. We don’t use fire hardly ever anymore. We don’t even have proper Hearths. And people don’t believe. Does that protect them? I’m not so sure it does.
If anything it debilitates them. Like an immune system that’s been weakened. How are you supposed to protect yourself from things you don’t even know are there in the first place?
This story was so good I just had to share it with all of you. It’s a YouTube video for your listening pleasure. Enjoy. Sit back and relax.
In Baotou, Inner Mongolia a strange occurrence is happening. For 12 days straight, sheep have been walking in circular pattern. They seem to be in a zombie-like trance. To date, nobody knows what is actually going on.
The “experts” claim that they have it figured out. That this is trauma from being in a pen too long so they are just repeating certain patterns. And that the other animals are just repeating what is going on. Another theory is they have a bacteria which causes “circling disease”. A disease that arises from the feces in the soil and forces animals to walk in a circular pattern.
The thing is, that disease causes the animals to die within two days. So it doesn’t explain this. I also have heard from a friend that they are trapped in a pen and can’t migrate so that’s all they can do. Except that according to reports, it says that only one farm is being effected. And of the 34 pens only one Pen, Pen 13 is doing this.
I originally had another theory. Some animals have been proven to sense shifts in EM Fields. So I thought logically that somehow, something on that particular spot was causing them to act that way. Except so far there is no evidence of that. This is a simple farm.
And if it were a natural phenomenon, where an EM Field was being sent out, why only that one small area? Why not let’s say the whole region? Something else is going on here. To make it weirder there is a single sheep in the center who remains still. Almost as if conducting the whole strange dance.
Also, something else bothers me. This isn’t the behavior of animals sensing EM Fields. Normally an EM Field causes disturbances in an animal’s behavior. They get confused. Irritated.
None of that is happening here.
What we see instead is a strange Sheppard leading the other sheep in a spiral dance. None of the experts have been able to explain that. Also the fact that the pen is 13 fascinates me. It’s an extremely occultic number. Is it a mere coincidence?
Who knows at this point.
I wonder if any scientists have tried to go there to gage what is going on. Whatever is going on, we should watch with interest.
Authorities believe these skeletal remains are that of an Ancient Native American group buried on a Beach
The beach is already legendary among us Floridians. The official name is Chastain Beach. It’s on Hutchinson Island. But most people call it Seven Skulls because once seven human skulls were found there. Every time a Hurricane hits that area in just the right direction, skeletal remains are always discovered.
It’s led to many believing this is an indigenous burial ground. As you can read from the article on it, it’s also believed to be a mystical place. People who live in the town of Stuart say that the bones should be buried again. That interfering with the bodies is bad. Unfortunately the authorities don’t listen.
They were removed from the beach already. Probably on their way to a Museum.
Recently I had talked about a strange Supernatural occurrence during Hurricane Ian. In which I believe a Wild Hunt was unleashed. Some people in Central Florida heard the hooves of Horses on their roofs during the Hurricane. Something none of us have ever reported hearing before. I tried debunking it.
And couldn’t. So I turned to magic. And I saw a horrifying visions. They looked like legions of angry souls. All of them seeking revenge in one form of another.
Go to 1:18 on the video to skip to the part about the unearthed bodies
This video show it from the beginning. The Seminole Nation has claimed the bodies and the beach as belonging to their ancestors. I just thought this was something odd and interesting to put here. Be blessed my friends,
Hello everyone! Celebrating the Catholic Feast of All Hallows’ Eve as we approach All Hallowsmastide. November is the time of the holy souls in Purgatory. Remember that the Real Samhain isn’t until two weeks from now in November (you can thank the Gregorian calendar for that). So this is a Catholicised version of the holiday. So we are in the Catholic feast.
Not Samhain. I made a special post for links to everything from articles to Creepy pastas on YouTube and more! Enjoy!
Adventures of A Mage In Miami 