Shelby’s Eulogy

My good little boy in better times.

I have been dreading writing this post since last month

I didn’t want to because it made Shelby’s passing too real for me. That my friends, is why I haven’t been posting blogs on weird history or the Occult. Why I haven’t been writing about my favorite books or new things in my life. It all seems so empty right now. Last month, I went to get my very first shot of the Pfizer vaccine.

It was a short walk from there to my house. I went to the Navarro store near me to be vaccinated. I had learned that they were providing the vaccines for everyone. All you had to do was make an appointment. There was no waiting period or list like these other places.

CVS pharmacy had recently bought Navarro and now they were making the vaccines more accessible. When the woman had made the appointment for me in the waiting area, I thought it was my lucky day. When that day finally came, I left my home and walked there. Sheldon my other dog is younger. And he always gets nervous if I leave them alone for too long.

But I had this strange feeling of impending dread inside of my stomach. For some reason I felt that I should come back as quickly as possible. It took me a while because I hadn’t known I needed to be in a call in sheet. When I was vaccinated I had to wait to make sure I didn’t get any adverse reactions. But that same nasty feeling came back.

Something was wrong and I knew it. I don’t know how, the closest I can describe it is like this. When parents sense their kids in danger or vice versa. I don’t know any other way to say it. This was deeper and stronger than any feeling I ever had.

Like I wanted to go screaming from there back to my home. I didn’t know why, in fact I tried to ignore it and said oh that’s just paranoia, there’s nothing wrong. But I couldn’t shake this feeling. So I just said fuck it, and went back home. I wish I had listened to my inner voice sooner.

Maybe it would have made a difference. Maybe it wouldn’t have. I found Shelby in the middle of the apartment. He had crapped all over the place. But his stool was mixed with blood.

And he couldn’t move. He was paralyzed. I saw a trail of blood and feces near my bed. Shelby would often walk near my bed to make little crying noises. So I could pick him up and put him in bed with me.

He had been looking for me while he could still walk. And I wasn’t there. If I could go back and skip the vaccine. If I could have just waited until after that day. I blame myself again and again thinking that if I had been there, this could have been prevented.

I started shaking like a leaf. I called my mother to come help me. My friend George was calling up animal groups like crazy to help. But all the vets wanted serious money to help Shelby that I just didn’t have then. My first choice is an animal hospital that I will not mention.

Because I don’t want to be in legal trouble nor do I want to be unfair. Because they have helped lots of people. But I paid $33 dollars a month for a year. So he could have healthcare so that in theory, when he needed their help, they would help me. But they all said they couldn’t help him because I needed an appointment.

And any surgery or treatment would have cost thousands of dollars. So why the fuck was I paying these leaches $33 a month since last year for?

They told me I needed an animal emergency room. But they cost even more. So after begging these people and telling them I would even sign a legal document. That I pay them back. And they all still said they needed money upfront.

Dirty fucking leeches. Ghouls, feeding on the pain and suffering and death of animals. Then they get angry if someone calls them out on it. I know the reality that they do help and that funding is very scarce. I know it’s not their fault society as a whole abuses animals.

But they’re certainly contributing to that abuse by denying such a basic and necessary care to people who can’t afford it. My dog’s paralysis grew worse. He no longer had the ability to move or control his facial features. By the time a single good hearted Vet answered my call, they told me not to bother.

“Is he still releasing feces and blood by any chance? Does he have a really bad odor?”

I said yes.

“I’m sorry sir. But your dog is dying. From what you’ve told me, it could have been an aneurysm, a stroke, or even a heart attack. Dogs that old are more susceptible to health problems. If you brought him here, you’d be wasting your money because there’s nothing to be done except to put him down.

And we don’t have those services here. You need to ask a shelter or some other place that handles it. I wish I could have been better help to you. You can get a second opinion, but it’s doubtful,”

In that moment, my whole world was shattering before my eyes. For someone who doesn’t know the love of an animal, that sounds ridiculous. Childish even, the product of one who has a childish mentality. I refused to accept it. But when my mother, a nurse in the medical field came, she only confirmed what this vet had told me on the phone.

She even told me she believed for some time he would die soon. She had suspected for weeks now that he was going to pass away. Because he seemed to be more sentimental and wanting to spend more time with us. I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. He was so well in the morning.

He had a hardy appetite. He was an old little dog, but very energetic. And I loved him as much as I love Sheldon. My little old man. My old baby.

Mi Chiquitin (my little one)

The Techichi Dog, the ancient Mexican ancestor of all Chihuahuas

Years ago, I had a nasty depression

And I prayed to the Gods to send me a companion. One day, my uncles were moving something from my old house. They brought us some washing machines. I was still living with my sister and mother at the time. And I noticed this tiny nose in the doorway.

I opened it thinking it was one of the cat’s outside. Instead it was my first dog, Sheldon. He was a puppy, abandoned and scrawny. And scared and hungry. And alone.

My sister and I convinced our mother to let him stay. The original plan was to find him a new home. And at first he really didn’t like me. But as soon as he saw me get the leash. And we had our first walk, he became my baby.

He never left me. And I knew the Gods had heard my prayers. Sheldon had been with me for years. My faithful companion. One day we took our usual afternoon walk.

I’d either finish working. Or if I got home early from college, I’d be studying my spell books. And Sheldon would start crying and motioning to the door. Which meant it was time for our walk. We went on our walk and we saw this tiny little chihuahua.

He was elderly. And I learned from my neighbors that he been out in the sun without food and water for a day. I had a suspicion that a family who lived there had abandoned him on purpose. I wanted to save him but I couldn’t get close enough to him to grab him. I kept telling myself that I tried and it was time to go home.

I knew I couldn’t have another dog. But Sheldon was glued to the spot. He walked on his hind legs and looked at me with his soulful eyes. He cried out with such a mournful and compassionate cry that I knew I couldn’t leave. Sheldon had reminded me that apathy is what makes the world a bad place.

Evil only exists because people don’t care enough to fight it. We live in a society where it’s everyone for themselves. And compassionate people are seen as weak, naive, or losers. I knew what Sheldon wanted. We walked towards that elderly little chihuahua.

I still couldn’t grab hold of him. He was afraid of other people. But as I had suspected, he kept gravitating towards the apartment of the family I had suspected abandoned him. Especially the backyard. I remember hearing a chihuahua growl at people from the backyard all the time. I suspected he was that dog.

Because the backyard was empty. He would run from me. But not Sheldon. Sheldon would lay on the ground and Shelby would come to him. I knew this family had a lot of chihuahuas.

They had recently gotten a new dog. And I guess this baby was sacrificed for being old. It took me five minutes to get him. I finally grabbed him when he laid down next to Sheldon. At first he tried to fight me.

But I kissed him on the top of his little head and said,

“Tranquilo Papi,” (calm down papi)

He finally did calm down. I took him home and my Mom had the classic we don’t need another damn dog reaction. Uhuh, that didn’t last very long. I put him down, and he started exploring the whole house. My Mother just said,

“Look at this little thing, walking around the house like it was his already. Where do you think you’re going?”

(Her Room lol)

My Mom had given him a bath. And she said he had a panic attack.

“This poor animal has never had a bath in his life. I’ve seen dogs who hate water. But this was different. It was like he didn’t know what a bath was,”

He was extremely malnourished. If his insane hunger to eat anything he could find wasn’t an indicator, the ribs out of his stomach told us all we needed to know. I did try to contact the family, and to inform them that they needed to take better care of him. But they wouldn’t even come to the door. I left a note with my address and number and they ignored me on purpose.

Whenever I would call Sheldon, he would come too. I think he thought I was calling him. So I named him Shelby. Everyone kept giving me shit saying it was a girl’s name. But I’ll have you know that Shelby was a man’s name as late as the 1920’s.

Not that it mattered to anyone else. I think some people figured I was trying to make a political statement (facepalm). Shelby ate dog food for what I think was the first time. That family had him living on whatever scraps came from their table we suspect. At first he didn’t recognize it as food.

I had to hand feed him at first for months. Although I admit I spoiled him feeding him things I probably shouldn’t have. We used to laugh and call him La Piraña, the piranha. He ate with such a gusto, that it was like watching a little person. Even Sheldon had moments of looking at him like You know you’re a dog right?

He slept the first night, that Friday on my arm chair. I don’t think he was used to air conditioner or having a soft place to sleep. As I was getting ready to shower, he hopped off the chair and went looking for me. As soon as he saw me next door in the shower, he went back. As if he just needed assurances that he wasn’t alone.

I remember how he lived in that yard alone for years. The only dog out there. And despite them having other dogs, I think they kept him alone. He had a weird stink and his teeth were rotten. My Mom thought he had mange or some other skin disease due to his odor.

He didn’t, it was just his anal glands that needed to be secreted. That was a Friday. He had wondered into my Mom’s room and she had made him a little bed in the corner. And she was pointing and saying “Miralo que lindo!” (Look at him how cute). Ha, didn’t want another dog eh?

The next day, we all doted on him. Even Sheldon, he had a new brother. We had a Vet come to our home to vaccinate them both and squeeze their anal glands. After just three days, Shelby had vomited all of these parasites out of his body. And that’s when he started to put on some weight.

In just a few days his little bony belly, became a chubby belly. All this had happened in just two days. That Saturday night, Sheldon decided he wanted to sleep in my mother’s room. And Shelby slept on my chair again. I was up watching a Paranormal tv show called “The Dead Man’s Gun” about a cursed gun in the old west.

And how it effects everyone it comes into contact with. When suddenly, Shelby hops down again, and walks toward the side of my bed and cries. He looked up at me with his soulful eyes. As if to say “Can I sleep with you?” and I laughed at how cute he was. How could I say no? I scooped him up into my arms and he slept in the bed with me.

He was so relaxed that he just laid down and stretched his little body. That was the first of many nights in a warm bed. And like Sheldon, he had any bed to choose from. My sister and mother would let him stay with them. He’s wake my Mom up in the middle of the night to take a piss, or drink water.

She called him the little old man. But there was a problem : he was scared of the dark. So she had to personally escort him with the lights on to pee on his pad. Then follow him to the kitchen so he could drink his water. At the time, we still thought he was just with us until we could get him adopted.

But months had passed, and he and Sheldon had become brothers. And my sister and I, and even my Mom though she wouldn’t admit it, thought of him as ours. I tried to get him adopted, but he looked at me and cried to go home. I couldn’t do it.

I saw those assholes that abandoned him once. I was walking Shelby, but as soon as he saw them, he turned around. He was like “Nope! fuck you,”It sounds funny, but his reaction was like that. He stopped and turned around so abruptly that it made my head spin. Yep, the puppet was a part of the family now.

He lived far longer than anyone expected him to. He went from being shy and fatigued, to having the energy of a puppy. My sister showered him with gifts (that Sheldon kept trying to steal). The first time he saw his first toy, a little blue duck, he had no idea what it was. He acted as if it was a smaller animal.

And he cuddled with it and protected it. He was the only non violent chihuahua I had ever met. So sweet and calm. He was loved for so many years. And he made us laugh.

I remember that somehow he opened the zipper on my sister’s purse and pulled out a cracker she left in there. That little dog could eat. My Mom nicknamed him Hambre Vieja (Old Hunger). I remember he used to be afraid of going up the stairs at first. But after a while, he would run up the stairs with such joy in his heart.

And we would play and watch tv together. We never cured him of his insatiable hunger though. But when we did feed him from the table, it was never anything that compromised his health. I used to laugh when people dressed their dogs up. But Shelby he every kind of outfit you could imagine.

My sister bought him a stripped prison outfit and even a shirt that said, “Don’t act like you’re not impressed,”

Heaven gains another Angel

My Poor Baby

Shelby was breathing erratically. He had crapped and bled again, this time on my jeans because I refused to let him go. I kept him in my arms. I stroked his little head. Sheldon would walk up to us and start crying and kissing his brother.

Sheldon was the reason Shelby was in our life. It was only fitting that he was here at the end as well. I cried and cried for hours, trying to keep the deep sobs inside. I didn’t want to worry either of them. And my mother also didn’t want me to cry.

Years ago, when things got really bad financially. When I could not longer support my family because I lost my job. And my small business failed, I had a break down. I didn’t go crazy or anything of that nature. Though no doubt the skeptics on this blog who have read my accounts or my beliefs think my brain was fried long ago.

I had a seizure and had an emotional breakdown. It happened because there was no food in the house. And I saw my mother cry. And I felt so guilty. So useless.

Since then, I suppose she treats me with silk gloves. You have no idea how hard that is for me. To go from being the responsible son who cared for his family‘s needs. To being treated as if I will break easily at the slightest sign of pressure. And that’s the hardest part.

If I could cry, scream, or be alone with myself, I know I will be okay. I could simply release the lent up emotions. But I don’t have that luxury. My family would flip a shit if they heard me wail like I did that day. I have this…..storm building up inside me some days where I want to cry for hours.

And I can’t because this damn place has no privacy. That’s what I miss the most about living alone. I could be alone with just my dogs, my spirits, and my Gods. And I could be okay. My friends don’t understand it.

I’m sort of like an urban hermit. But I go sometimes months without speaking to friends. When I’m busy with magic, or when I need to meditate. Hell or when I am reading, writing, or anything else I wish to do. I miss having that space to myself again.

Between the nosy ass neighbors here and the thin walls, it’s hard to do anything without someone else listening in. I feel trapped inside of my own sorrow. My one consultation is Sheldon. He keeps me stable. I had to control my grief because he seemed to be depressed as well.

For a few weeks now Sheldon has barely been able to eat. He lays around most of the time staring at the place where Shelby’s bed used to be. But when I feed him he does eat. I hold him in my arms and talk to him gently. I let him know that it’s all alright.

People say animals don’t know anything. But they do. They’re smarter than you would think. There was even a case of a parrot with the intelligence of a 10 year old boy. And as sure as the sun rises, he knows his brother is dead.

He mourns with me. I know this will sound like an exaggeration. But I feel Shelby’s loss as if he were truly my son. And in many ways he was. Animals are like children that never grow up.

No matter how big they get. So psychologically at least some of the same feelings are there. And I spend everyday of my life caring for Sheldon and at that time Shelby. My mother told me to lay him down in his bed. She cleaned him so that no matter what, he could be at rest.

She kept saying,

“Papi, stop holding on. Let go,”

He heard me sob again. And I don’t know how this little dog did it. Because he was paralyzed already. But some how, he took the last of his strength to move his head and turn to me. I kissed him on his head and told him I was okay.

A friend of mine from my Greek Temple put it best when he told me “He was carving your face into memory,” before leaving. I threw away my soiled clothing. And showered. I had prayed to every God there was. Those of faith have feelings about which Gods to pray to sometimes.

A little girl who was sick needed healing. And I prayed to Yemaya and she was healed. A friend had once prayed to Freya to find her lost cat. She just knew that Goddess was the one to help her. Well, I believe in and worship every God of every pantheon.

I’m initiated into different religions. But I’m also eclectic and work in my own way. I do a sort of inclusive ritual of every culture. And one of the Gods came to me. It was Jesus.

Yes a lot of my friends are flipping their shit at that sentence. But remember, some of our ancestors used to throw Christians into Lion pits. Just as those “polytheists” do not represent our faith or our Gods, many of the “christians” don’t represent their God either. And the Jesus I know and believe in, has never made me feel bad about worshipping other Gods. In sharp contrast to his fan club.

There was a period when I felt he wanted some more worship. I was so engrossed in my worship of other Gods. I think he wanted to be close again. So I became a Christo-Pagan. Anyways, I felt his presence near me.

I couldn’t see or talk to him. I just felt his energy. As I bathed, I said,

“Rabbi Yeshua, please free my son. Let him die peacefully. Release him from his pains and all his sufferings. Please sever the chord that binds the soul to the body. Give him peace, Amen”

I continued my shower. When I got out, my mother told me he finally fell asleep. When I found a vet who could euthanize him, I got a surprise. My mother knocked on my door to tell me he’d already passed. I gave her the phone and ran to his lifeless body.

That rancid smell, like acid and rot was all over him. I cried my eyes out. And I petted his small head one last time. Sheldon let out a cry too. But we didn’t let him lick Shelby’s head due to germs.

We collected his body. She washed the floor with bleach. Someone came to collect his body. He was still wearing his little shirt. And I struggled to release his body.

I knew it wasn’t him anymore. Just his shell. But knowing he was still wearing his little shirt. Just to be cremated and disposed of was killing me inside. And then I had to suck it up.

Because my mother was family began to worry. And that’s it. I haven’t entirely allowed myself to deal with it. It’s been weeks and I carry this on my soul all the time. I entered the traditional 13 day mourning period of the Ancient Greeks.

During this time, I was ritually impure. I covered up my altars. And I spent my time in prayer and contemplation with the dead. I prayed to Oya to take my dog to the other side. And each mystic I knew was also doing rituals to different Gods to cross him over.

I have dreamed of him since. And felt his presence among my guides. His energy is strong. And the knowledge that he is no longer in pain helps me. He has gained entry into the ethereal realms.

Those places where death and pain cannot truly enter. That and that Sheldon is with me are my only consolations. I’m trying to let it go. And to release the pain inside. Shelby, this is my attempt at immortality for you baby.

When my guardian altars are up again, I’ll put your picture in my guardian spirit section of my altar.

I will try not to remember you as you laid dying in your bed and in my arms. I will remember you instead as the happy, sweet little dog I called my baby. The dog who finally found a family who loved him as he deserved. Who always had every comfort we could give him. Good night Pupper,

Florida Security Cam Captures Weird Dinosaur-Like Creature

A Florida resident (go figure) reported to Fox 35 Orlando that her home security camera picked up a strange nocturnal visitor at 3:40 am – a creature…

Florida Security Cam Captures Weird Dinosaur-Like Creature

A time of violence

Herakles killing the Nimeon Lion

I’m going to start this by saying that I have no idea what’s going on. Not by any measure I know of. In the past week, people I know have had car accidents and nasty arguments. A witch I know received death omens and has since seen that the omens were true. And I lost someone very special to me.

My friend dreamed of the dead. And since then many people at her job died off. I lost my dog Shelby just two days ago. He died the most painful death ever. This is not a normal time.

This is a time of violence.

Something else is at play here. I’ve decided that in addition to my usual mourning rituals, I’m also going to work with Chiron the Wounded Healer. He’s the legendary Centaur healer and scholar. The trainer of heroes. He gave up his immortality to save the Titan Prometheus.

Chiron the Centaur, foster son of Apollon, trainer of heroes. And the best of all Centaurs.

I am also going to work with all Gods of the dead. Specifically I will meditate with Terrestrial Hermès, the aspect of Hermès who rules the dead. Also with Eshu Kaminalowá the camino or avatar of Elegua that works with the dead and with Babalu Aye. And finally I will be working with the dead. My one and only suspicion is that Mercury Retrograde which is coming in May is so strong, that it’s generating an aura that is effecting many people now.

I can’t back this up because I am not an astrologer. This is just a suspicion. Maybe something else is going on. But if you find this post in your email today, do yourself a favor. Treat this like a really nasty retrograde.

Cleanse yourself and your families and homes. And ward yourselves well.

Tales from the Continent: The Business Man Pt 2

After my client Alvaro told me everything

I needed to know (or so I thought) I decided to do a little divination. Nothing he told me made sense as to why someone would want to hex him. I knew he was holding something back from me. And I wasn’t going to stick my neck out for him. I took this job because I needed the money.

He was hesitant at first. But then he agreed he would give me a good donation (which also turned out to be a lie). He did go into detail about the strange hauntings in his house. A feeling of “phantom weight” he always seemed to carry, but didn’t know why. And his infant son would scream his guts out in fear at night.

At first he told his wife that it was normal for babies to be scared at night. But then he got the strange feeling that someone was inside the baby’s room. He said he thought he heard a deep voice speaking within the room one night. And a few times he had the feeling of being watched. I hate cases with kids involved.

The situation becomes more volatile. So I took a few weeks to plan and meditate. I also broke out my old spell books and charms and started experimenting with what I should do. In the end I opted for necromancy.

He did eventually tell me part of the problem

And boy was it a doozy. He went into a haunted cave at night. When he was younger he said that he went with a few friends there on a dare. The local folklore says that witches go there to do Black Sabbats. Obviously not good witches.

Or even normal witches. These are what are known as Hags. Now everyone has an opinion of what a Hag is and I want to talk about this for a second. In regular traditions a Hag is just a witch. In fact it may have been a word that the word witch evolved from.

From Haegtesse, the term Elder Hag is often used for an elder witch. But as is the case with many words and terms, there is a positive and a negative connotation. In Christian or semi Christian traditions, Hags are either demon witches. Or in the case of the Appalachian mountain people in the US, human practitioners of black magic. I understand many of my witch brethren would find that disrespectful.

Regardless, even in the South amongst the original slave populations, they had stories of Hags. The most famous being the Boo Hags. Specifically the Gullah culture talks about Boo Hags. The idea is that these were once human witches. But they delved so deeply into the practices of black magic that they eventually developed demonic powers.

They themselves becoming demons. Now I refer to such people as Demonists. In my personal practices those are witches that are beyond a normal warlock (unethical practitioner). This is another class of black witch altogether. Then there is what I call a True Demonist, someone who actually succeeds at becoming a real life demon while they’re alive.

Something which to me is rare. In that category, I put in the Native American Skinwalkers. And also the Penanggalan of the Philippines and Malay culture. Hags of this kind, the demonic kind, can be found in almost every culture. But the term also refers to positive Goddess or spirit beings as well.

So it’s important not to get it twisted. It’s important to know that this is a word that could be positive and negative. But in this case it was the negative. The demonic types of Hags are said to be the children of the Demoness, Lilith. Before she was the demon of Jewish lore, Lilith was a Sumerian Demon Goddess.

Tied to the storms and also to infant mortality. she was said to take the shape of an owl woman. I should make a post dedicated to her one of these days. But anyways, in Latin America, there are many such creatures like that. And sadly in this guy’s country, there are infestations of such beings.

As a former monotheistic Christian I used to think these were tall tales bred from superstition. But after I began to practice and learn from other people, I started to realize these were real modern accounts. Skin Walkers for example are a type of demon witch. That’s why many Native Americans have such a stigma about being called a “witch”. They associate it with unethical practitioners of magic.

Granted that’s largely due to European Christians drumming the idea that a “witch” was evil into their heads. Some more colonial brainwashing at work. Getting back to the topic, this guy said he didn’t believe in such things. He thought it was BS. So he goes into the cave to impress the girls.

Everyone in that little town he visited says that night Hags use that cave. These women shape shift into owls (again the connection to Lilith). They are so familiar in their owl forms that owls are seen as demonic animals in this country. Indigenous shape shifting witches like this exist all over Latin America. Once inside, they all smelled this godawful stench.

He said they had found these large brown paper bags that were bloody. Flies were everywhere and in some cases there were maggots protruding from these bags. These are probably sacrificed animals. They also found strange things he found hard to describe. And finally, he said they found a large Saint statue with its arms broken off.

I instantly got a flash in my mind from my spirits. And I learned that the statue had held some kind of dark spirit. In witchcraft, a popular method of exorcising a spirit, is to draw it out of a place or person and then send it into a vessel. Sometimes holy icons or idols are used. And sometimes when a dark entity enters an idol, the idol gets partially broken.

And even dark practitioners do exorcisms. For clients or sometimes even when they summon something or an entity goes out of line. And they have to trap them somewhere. Though I also think the statue was purposefully desecrated. So I ask him,

“Alvaro, by any chance did you get too close to that statue?”

Then he gets very quiet. Clears his throat and says,

“Well… I was young. And the girls thought it would be funny if I took a selfie with that statue,”

(Jesus Fucking Christ)

So it became apparent that the “phantom weight” wasn’t just whatever Sanchez had done to him. It was whatever he had absorbed from this statue. It had probably been haunting him for years before Sanchez. And he only began to notice it years later. I had my work cut out for me.

I had no idea where to start

So I decided to do a time honored tradition. I went to the dead. There’s a random roadside memorial where I used to live. Some guy whose name I will not mention here out of respect for his family. I became friends with him a few Halloween’s ago.

I didn’t have a cemetery close to me, so I decided to leave him offerings instead. I used to walk past his memorial on my way to a local mall. I left him a chocolate cupcake with a birthday candle that I blessed. I lit the candle and left it to him. Then I heard “Gracias”out loud. Now at first I jumped half way out of my skin, because I thought it was a living person who said that.

It didn’t sound psychic or telepathic. I realized then that this was a powerful spirit. I could tell he was loved. The memorial is filled with things including a cross made of plastic flowers. I turned around and said, “De nada amigo” (don’t mention it friend).

After that, I started visiting him a lot more regularly. Leaving him money in the form of pennies. So that he could buy things in the afterlife. I left him food and poured him libations, sometimes I left him Piedra de Alumbre (Stone of illumination). It’s not really a stone.

It’s this mineral thing we use in Santeria. It’s like a rock but it dissolves in water. The spirits of the dead eat it when we place it in sacred water vessels on their altars. In his case it would break into pieces until it became dust. I came to him for help.

I poured him a libation. Then I sat down with my cell turned off, pretending to be texting someone. I’m pretending that I am waiting for a car or something. He’s clearly amused by this and says,

“You must be really desperate to be making a long distance phone call like this,”

“Very funny,”

“What’s up?”

“Take a look and see for yourself,”

He enters my mind. And it feels like someone stuck a psychic USB drive in there. I can feel him looking into my memory I want him to see and hear the conversation for himself. Then he starts projecting images in my head and talks.

“This man here, Adonis, is a problem yes. But your client has other problems,”

He starts showing me all these shadow people and shadowy things all around him. It’s like a zoo of dark things. And he says,

“No offense, but you couldn’t find someone more trustworthy than this guy ? He’s even got a small portal inside his body. How much do you want to bet that he’s played with a Quija Board?,”

I was going to say that he didn’t seem like the type to own a Ouija board. But then again what do I know? I’ve never even seen this man before. We only talk via internet.

“What should I do?”

He stayed silent for a few moments then answered.

“Ask your new guide, the one you got from the Palero to deal with this. Ask him to bring an army of the dead to fight off what’s there and cleanse this guy. It’s not fancy, but it’s effective. And it will take care of this problem,”

I waited till there were almost no cars. And I buried 9 rusty pennies in the dirt near his memorial and said,

“I pay you (name redacted) in the name of Oya. Thank you for helping me. May this money given to you be an investment in your afterlife. May you never be poor. And instead always carry prosperity with you for all your needs,”

A random car came back and some lady saw me burying the coins and talking in the direction of the memorial. Fuck my life. All these nosy ass Karens in this area watching everything you do. It’s getting to the point that you can’t even fart or piss in a bush without one of them noticing. She was still staring while the car went away.

So I scratched my balls in front of her. The look of disgust was so funny that I busted out laughing. I could barely walk home from the laughter. I think most of the cars passing me by thought I was crazy or drunk. Well, I talk to dead people so maybe one of the two allegations was true.

I came home

Showered and ordered some take out. As I waited for the Chinese food to get to me, I decided to give a primary offering to Hestia. In Greek Polytheism she is the Goddess of Hearthe and Home. I also included in this offering Elegua Agbanukue, the Household version of Elegua. Who is also a God that watches the home and protects it.

I started naming the various Household Gods one by one. And the spirits that protect the home as well. I poured some olive oil in their honor. Then I sat back on the couch and rested my eyes for bit. I realized I should probably talk to my Palo guide. I got up and sat in my red chair.

I took his idol out of the Altar I have for native spirits. Even though he is a guide connected to Palo Mayombe, he’s the spirit of a dead indigenous man. I made eye contact with the idol and said,

“Hey friend, do you have some time to talk?”

I could feel him talking to me. This is a very different kind of spirit. Paleros use advanced spirits. Even their ghosts are stronger than the normal ones. He spoke not as a voice, but as feelings.

He was asking why I took so long to call on him. He was basically scolding me and telling me he was here to help. If only I would accept such help.

“Fair enough,” I replied. “I’m asking now,”

I could have done the psychic usb thing but I was tired. And when I get tired, images and information is fuzzy. So I took the time to speak to him the old fashioned way. Anyone watching me talk to this statue in my hand would have thought I was crazy. But the spirit within that vessel is very real.

He told me he had “brothers and sisters“ he could call on. That in Palo they were all one. And they would work together to help me. I bowed down my head, kissed his statue and said,

“Bless you sentinel of the home,”

Then I placed a bottle of whiskey on the altar next to him.

“I offer this to you and your Kin. It will be poured down at the crossroads when you defeat the enemy,”

After this was done, the delivery lady showed up. My family and I ate good food. Discussed our day (well I left our certain portions for obvious reason). And I hunkered down for the night. I sent Alvaro a message via the signal app.

We coordinated how we were going to handle this. We agreed upon a day, and off to work we went.

From left to right, Taino women representing the indigenous ancestors, center is an Adjule or African wild dog who is often seen as a phantom animal, and finally from Palo Mayonbe is Sarabanda, the great God of Smithery and Magic.

The final operation

I opted for sunset on a Friday. In many religions, there are times that belong to the dead. And all of those times as far as I have discovered, are at or around night time. In Santeria, the time of the dead is at Sunset. Nobody does readings at that time.

Or at least they’re not supposed to. Some Santeros I have met are so nyctophobic they wouldn’t even do Rosary prayers at night for a deceased soul. They believe Satan and his demons are all out around that time. I am one of the few Santeros who are not afraid. I had training in other religions prior to Santeria.

We did night time rituals and we learned not to fear the night. It is true that there are negative forces unleashed at night. But there are also positive forces. I learned about an exorcism ritual done by the Babalawos (priesthood of Orula) that was done for people who had spiritual attachments. It was called the Paraldo Ceremony.

The Babalawos did it at sunset. Because the Eggun (ghosts) or even demons would start coming out. The reason for this is because the spirit would be fully formed and out in the open. It would be easier to cast the entity out. But I wasn’t using that ceremony.

For one, because I’m not a Babalawo. Doing ceremonies without proper knowledge and authority is just asking for trouble. And two because I refuse to murder animals. No I am not a vegan. No I am not some kind of heretic.

But I’m one of many Santeros who won’t sacrifice animals. And that ceremony requires grabbing a rooster by its feet and smashing the head on the floor. This is for the evil to be bound to its body. If the poor creature is lucky it will die instantly. I don’t do animal sacrifices.

I know Pagans who still do them. And I don’t stick my nose into their religious practices. But I tell everyone no matter the tradition that I will not. But one thing that I did take from that ceremony, is using the sunset. I waited till that time to do this.

The enemy spirits will be fully formed at that time. But they won’t be that strong. The strongest time for the dead is actually from midnight until 2am, and dark spirits at either midnight or 3am. I have a good understanding of their power levels at various times.

At sunset they’re just waking up from a long sleep. It’s not the same level of lucidity and power as at other hours. This gives me the secondary advantage that after they fully emerge, they’ll still be dazed and confused. Demons and other wicked spirits don’t necessarily sleep during the day. But at night their powers are far stronger.

Which is why if I have to go out at night I carry amulets. And I shield to make sure no matter where I go, there’s nothing to follow me home. But at sunset they’re still just charging up. But they can’t hide nor will they try. They’re usually too overconfident for that.

And that’s what I was counting on.

I did a special ritual of protection. Necromancy with the ancestors. I can’t talk about the specifics or the name of the ceremony. But it kept me safe. I was surrounded by the protective energy.

And I brought out my Palo guide and asked for his help. Then I did a protective shielding prior to calling Alvaro. I did a few Hail Marys and Our Fathers. As well as some more ancient prayers for protection. Then I called him via the Signal App.

He was way too calm. People are normally ready to be done with this. He acted like this was just another transaction. Like shaking a hand or taking a piss. Yeah I really don’t like this guy.

I just wanted this shit to be over and done with. So we waited until sunset came. And suddenly there was a shift in the ether. I felt something on the other side of the phone with him. And I know he felt it too.

Though he seemed to enjoy playing dumb. I took a picture of the idol of my Palo guide. Then sent it to him via signal.

“This is one of my guides. Stare into the eyes of the idol and invite him to come to you,”

I got the distinct feeling he thought I was quemado. How do I say it? Burned out. He probably thought I was some kind of crazy new ager. But idol magic goes back centuries. My priest in the Hellenic Temple I attend, even told me about a form of idol divination.

I have seen people do remote magic or long distance magic with nothing but psychic abilities. What I do, is use the craft to remotely send out energy and spirits. It’s a more powerful way to do it. But Mr. Know it all didn’t know that. So he was surprised when he felt my spirit appear before him.

“I feel something in the room with me. I never felt a spirit like this before. I feel my third eye vibrating,”

He admitted that he knew enough about spirits to sense them. And to perceive them via the third eye. I wondered if he and Adonis had studied together at one point. Maybe they had once been part of a magic group. He didn’t even bother trying to hide it.

He probably surmised that I knew him by now. I asked him to connect with my spirit’s energy. I showed him how to do it. And then a massive explosion of energy occurred.

We both felt it. I felt forces coming from the four directions all over his country converging there, at his home. An army of ghosts. Indigenous warriors from his land. Spaniards.

And also slaves, particularly slaves who I think were Congolese. Even recently deceased people had joined in, an entire force of ghosts had now appeared. And these dark spirits around him were trying to fight back. He started talking about strange sensations.

“I feel weird,”

“In what way?”

“I feel an onset of relief, as if a heavy presence was released from me. And then that presence returns. It’s as if the relief is fighting the heaviness,”

What he was feeling was the dark spirit (heavy presence) being fought by the light spirits that were now there. I was seeing their energies combating each other. At first I couldn’t distinguish human features. They had gone to their purest form as energy.

The dark spirits were the smallest groups there. They appeared as balls of deep shadow. But the spheres of light numbered in the hundreds. And each had different colors depending on the energy they were using. Some were red, and I think those were soldiers or warriors. Others were yellow, and those were spirits who died of diseases.

The disease ghosts were absorbing all the dark energy that was in that house. Like a self eating cancer. I had been trained by a Wiccan teacher that dark spirits or dark energies could be put towards positive uses.

Now I was seeing in greater detail what darker energies, when put to a positive use could do. And these fallen spirits around Alvaro were dumbfounded. They had no idea how to fight back against them. They were outnumbered and out gunned. I was trying to keep my excitement down.

Overconfidence was a killer. As I had intended, they fully emerged with the dark. But they were still too weak to use their native element against us. With one final push, Alvaro described the heaviness forced from him for good. The relief stayed this time.

I did see a few spiritual doors close. He did have a small one on him that resembled a Quija board doorway. But that paled in comparison to all these larger doors in his home. In my mind’s eye I was seeing these beach ball sized vortexes floating in the air. I was going to ask him some more questions when my Palo guide spoke again.

Through empathy, he told me that other spirits were there too. Good spirits and a few neutral ones. Dead souls as well as nature spirits. They all occupied the same space. His property has become a free for all.

He did some kind of fancy ritual that he couldn’t control. And this had been the result. He had played with forces beyond his control. The haunted location he told me about and absorbing that spirit was just the beginning. And my guide also told me to not bother confronting him.

He had an answer for everything. It wasn’t my business anyway. Instead I told him that these other spirits I sent had to stay for the night. They would spend the twilight hours until dawn fixing everything. Crossing over spirits and dismissing others properly. The guide I sent also closed the doorway he had in his own body.

The other spirits closed all the other doorways. I told him to check his email. I sent him a list of instructions. I taught him a few cleansings and rituals. And finally I told him to get his property blessed by a priest after he had done these things.

By the time it was done, he had reported that not a single paranormal event had taken place in his home since all this had happened. All was well. That was the good news. The bad news is that Richie Rich skipped out on the bill. He claimed he couldn’t pay for my services because the times had gone hard and blah blah blah.

I was so pissed that before I lost control I told him that I had to call him back. Later I had a friend communicate with him that he had agreed to pay for services. And I had been more than generous with him. But he never contacted me again. All of my friends had told me to send all that shit back to him as payback.

But after all the trouble I took to remove it, sending it back just seemed like a waste. Instead I did a prayer ritual with the Gods and explained what had happened. They scolded me and told me I should have known better. But after they were done, they said they would handle it. I don’t know how they handled it.

I just know they never punish the innocent. So ,whatever they did or didn’t do, it would be just not unjust. I did end up getting something in return though. A bunch of obstacles and problems in my life left after the ritual was done. The Gods told me it was payment for services rendered.

The whole event left me tapped out. And I have spent the better part of this month trying to recharge and regenerate. That’s why it has taken me this long to write this.

I’ve had to slow down a bunch of things. And I’ve been taking long naps. Falling asleep near 7pm or 8pm like an old fart. I hope all of you will please excuse me as it’s going to be a while. I won’t be able to do a solid reading or work for anyone until I’ve regained my lost energy.

I apologize for taking so long to do that. One thing is for sure, I re-learned my lesson. Rich people suck. Unless I have a lawyer who compel them to pay up in advance, I’m not helping another wealthy person. I have better things to do than to deal with them or their demons.

Fuck them all. Just do yourselves a favor alright? Stay the fuck away from rituals you don’t understand. And don’t go to haunted locations for the fuck of it. That’s a stupid thing to do.

Tales from the Continent : The Businessman Pt 1

It’s been a while since I spoke to all of you on here. That’s because over the course of these last two months, I’ve been busy as hell. So here’s the gist of it. Figured I’d regale you with my experience. This one was an extreme one, even for me.

And it happens to fall into my Tales from the Continent series. Now because of the sheer number of things that happened in two months, I needed to divide this post into two parts. Anyone who knows me, knows that like most stereotypical mages, I’m a walking encyclopedia. I can’t help having in-depth conversations about stuff. From history and politics, to ancient cultures and my favorite subject…Food.

It’s why I have all this beautiful whale blubber in real life. Sure I could hide that and pretend I look like the guy in that picture up there. But it would all be Bullshit. And to make it worse, I’m Cuban. We talk a lot of shit.

It’s in our very DNA. That’s why at night we have trouble sleeping if we’re sharing rooms. We’ll keep you up all night with conversations. Unless we’re doing something else. In which case the only conversations we’ll be having is when we climax and speak in tongues.

Whenever I find something interesting on a website or YouTube I talk at length about it. Especially paranormal related videos. I do this in English and in Spanish. And there is a long ass comment on a video called “33 Velas” (33 Candles) that a Spanish para channel called Relatos de la Noche (Tales of the Night) or simply RDLN posted years ago. I posted my explanation of the ritual in the account.

Why the candles were used and why messing with them, removed the protection. Apparently a lot of people enjoyed my comment. Some were offended and told me witchcraft is “evil”. But most started seeking advice. So I got a lot of people asking for my email.

I provided my consultation email and I began to receive a lot of messages from people which I shared with you on here. Hence why I call these stories Tales from the Continent. Because these are stories from people who watch RDLN and they come from the Americas. It’s an homage to them. I used to think I had already gotten the strangest cases from Latin America already.

Turns out I was wrong. Because a businessman who used to work in a government position reached out to me. It was one of the strangest cases I have ever taken on. I’m translating it from the original Spanish. I won’t mention the country because since he had a government position it just bothers me.

He didn’t tell me anything too secret or it wouldn’t even be on my blog. But all names are changed and locations have been removed.

I’d been up all night,

I was busy helping a few of the people from that video comment. And I was exhausted. They all had minor hauntings or some weak hexes. I hadn’t realized just how much more prevalent this stuff is in South and Central America. Everyone and their grandma throws spells at each other.

And for some of the dumbest shit you could imagine. One guy actually got his car bewitched with cemetery dirt because of the way he parked his car. Granted, the man parks like an ass. I’d be pissed too if some idiot parked his car like Rambo and took half of someone else’s parking spot. But leaving a skull candle to burn on the hood of the car with what I can only imagine was cemetery dirt around his car is pretty fucking bad.

I had thought that it was a rival or some enemy. Instead, when I cast the bones, the spirits said he was hexed because his neighbors think he’s an asshole. I thought he was lying at first when he said he had no enemies. Instead I realized that no one has ever told him they find him annoying. And I had to find a way to gently break it to him.

Yeah, that went as well as you can expect. But luckily I had help from the spirits to explain it to him.

The bones said he had some kind of condition. Like a personality disorder that made it hard for him to click with people. Having some issues of my own I can relate. I managed to get him to understand . We got the hex off his car,

And he made a cake for his neighbors to show them his friendly side. I actually felt bad that I was impatient with him. I realized I was acting like an asshole because growing up with my own disabilities, people treated me differently too. Add to that, that I could see things as a child. I had a very lonely childhood and people treated me like shit.

So I learned to be sarcastic and to chew someone out real quick. We’ve become friends. And my cleansing helped change his luck. I’m also happy to report that my pointers and those of my spirits helped him become more social. Trying to get him into therapy next.

A good old fashioned support group goes a long way. I now count him as one of my good friends. So I was trying to sleep the next day because I was drained. And I have the bad habit of being a workaholic. As I was laying in bed to sleep the day away, I decided to check my work email.

The one I use for paranormal consultations. And this new email had been sent to me five minutes before. I was bored and figured I would read it and then answer later. This was the email he sent.

“My name is Alvaro and I found your email by reading some comments you made on a YouTube video. The one of the 33 candles of Relatos de la Noche channel. In which I found an interesting addition to the video, your comment. I liked the way you shared your knowledge and gave people your confidence, and your opinion. Among the comments you made, you pointed to a person that sometimes a sudden loss of luck and a lack of energy could be indicators that something was not quite right.

It is thus and for the same reasons that I contact you so that you guide me to know if those issues that I feel I have in my life are of a supernatural nature. Particularly in my professional life. I have suffered from a significant decrease in my income. And I wonder if this is due to some negative energy or simply due to all the changes that have been generated by the pandemic since last year. Which has led to a significant decrease in work for everyone. In advance I appreciate the attention you give to this email and awaiting your valuable response.

Alvaro,”

I honestly didn’t think this was anything out of the ordinary at first. In the Paranormal, we are trained to be skeptical. But being a witch I am trained to not judge a book by its over. What seems normal and mundane could turn out to be supernatural. Also there was something about his demeanor.

Analyzing him is what made me step back to re-evaluate him. His Spanish didn’t have any slang to it like most modern speakers. In fact he spoke so proper that even the English translation sounds proper. People who speak like that tend to be of the upper crust of their societies. Latin America still has a reigning elite that goes back centuries from the Spanish aristocrats to the land owners.

A lot of countries are like that. I have met wealthy people who are nouveau riche (new rich). They still talk like regular people. The stick hasn’t yet been firmly planted up their anal regions yet. He talks like he’s always had money, or had access to some fancy school.

I’ve had a few run ins with the wealthy before. This tells me two things. One, he’s probably not someone with an open mind. In fact I’d say that he must have had a fairly conservative education. So ideas about the occult or supernatural would be seen as silly.

He’s already tried to debunk his own paranormal experiences. He’s probably still trying to debunk himself. He may even be chastising himself for contacting a random “witch doctor” off YouTube. So he isn’t some overly superstitious person given to fantastical thinking. He’s probably even borderline atheist or at least agnostic.

Which leads to two. Something convinced him to consider the paranormal as being real. Something that’s serious enough that his logical mind can’t account for it. His explanations are falling flat on their face, before actual, tangible evidence. I stood up in my bed debating whether or not I should wait to email him.

My body said,

“Dude, go the fuck to sleep already,”

But my mind said,

“mYsTeRy”

So guess which one I listened to? I decided to email him back my opinions, still partially skeptical. And explaining that his loss of luck could be anything. That the world economy was fried. And that bad luck was already in the air due to the Mercury retrograde and the sign of Otura Oyeku which brought bad luck during this season. I’ll save you the long winded explanation.

But I even sent him links and offered to double check with the Gods anyway. I’m finally ready for bed. Because the long ass email with its detailed analysis made me more tired. Then not five fucking minutes passes by when I hear that familiar bing on my phone. No way I said to myself.

No way this guy read all of that and was able to reply so quickly. There must have been five paragraphs in my email. That’s two pages and a half. Only a sociopath reads and understands that fast. So I check thinking no way.

(Fuck me, it is him).

“Dear M,

First of all I want to thank you for the prompt response you gave to my previous email. In relation to the question you ask me about whether I have noticed something strange. I comment that the only thing that has me a little intrigued and uneasy about it is what I will tell you next. Last year I received a proposition to occupy a administrative position in my government that was coveted by a person. His name is Adonis Sanchez (he was named after another Greek God. I just changed the name).

Who did everything possible to get the person who tried to hire me fired. I only held the job in question for barely 15 days. After just 15 days they asked for my resignation. The job that I had and that I am telling you about was in a government office in the Republic of (omitted). Which was plagued with problems and many conflicts, I could even say envy.

I had to watch my back at all times. Many people tried “to trip me,” so that any blame for any problem would fall to me. They did this to preserve their own careers. But for me to get all the blame. Despite all the complicated work, I had the collaboration and support of certain people.

Those who worked in the office who allowed me to solve some of the tasks entrusted to me that seemed impossible to do. Until I accomplished these tasks. It gave me a lot of support and praise. Which was a double edged sword as you might imagine. For although my management was brief, it was very intense because during that period there were particular circumstances in which Adonis and other people were involved.

So the person who was my boss by hierarchy ordered me to report them pointing out the irregularities that they had committed in their job. Since these people also exerted pressure on others with gunmen, despite the fact that this is illegal. Which is why my then boss confessed to me that he feared for his life. So he asked me to make the complaint on the irregularities for him. Even though he had security of his own, he feared Adonis.

The complaint I made led Adonis and his own supporters to request my resignation at a very high level. Which they achieved, but I also learned that Adonis did not manage to get the same administrative position I left behind. Eventually he was pressured to leave the government because his own actions had finally angered enough people to expel him. Even then my departure felt like a relief for many reasons. Since I stopped feeling all that pressure and negativity from the people there.

It allowed me to accompany my wife at the delivery of our first child. With whom I have been throughout this pandemic (which could not have been if I had continued working). In addition to the fact that my departure occurred before one of the most complicated stages of the pandemic began where I live. I do not overlook that there is resentment on the part of Adonis towards me. I comment on the latter, because when it was my birthday, among all the messages I received, there was one from Adonis on my Facebook account.

(He wouldn’t tell me the details of what was said. I got the impression that perhaps there were threats).

When I finished reading, I looked up at a lamp. It’s glass screen inexplicably burst. At such a strange coincidence I blocked him from my contacts on that social network. I had believed that perhaps he hacked me. Maybe a hacker could use some sophisticated form of tech to do that.

But I knew I was fooling myself. I know technology well. No hacker could cause something like that with a few keystrokes. And this was a regular lamp not another computer. What could he have done from a computer to cause that from happening? Somehow I knew it had been him.

What caused it I still don’t know. I eventually convinced myself the event with the screen was a coincidence. Although I still have doubt as I tell you. Sometimes I feel very tired and sometimes without strength, it takes a lot more energy to do my job than usual. Despite this, I can tell you to this day I have not lacked money.

Since I have enough to meet the expenses of the house. I have to buy food and enough to cover the debts, which makes me feel blessed and not feel helpless. It is difficult to have that feeling of uncertainty and feel tense month after month not knowing if I will have enough. Especially for my wife and my baby. I really appreciate your help and the time you have dedicated to me.

As you say, possibly all this that I have told you is only due to the bad times that all of us are experiencing. So I will review the information you shared with me. When you have the opportunity, review my case. If you notice that it is nothing extraordinary, in advance I will appreciate the guidance. And light that you can provide me in these complicated and dark times that everyone is going through.

– Alvaro ,”

“Fuck,” I said to myself. I knew I wasn’t going to get any sleep.

A few hours later,

I was getting the specifics of everything from this man. I also asked him to use the signal app. It’s better than WhatsApp. WhatsApp is owned by Facebook now, so the previously private data is probably going to them. Signal was recommended to me by a friend who is always on top of tech privacy.

We began texting back and forth there. I was concerned that Adonis might be surveilling this guy. I didn’t want to find out if this prick could hop on a plane and come after me for helping his enemy. He assured me that he had his house swept for bugs once a week. And he had the means to make sure he was protected.

Alvaro seemed harmless enough. For a guy who knows to have his house swept for bugs. And even though he has “financial problems” he’s got the means to protect himself from someone as dangerous as Adonis Sanchez. I wondered if I should even be helping him. How do I know his story is true and he isn’t the one gunning for Adonis? I’ve had that happen before in the past.

I’ve had clients trick me into thinking they were the victims at first. I refused to be somebody’s pawn again. Instead, I was doing a divination the next few days to see who he was. And I was right. He wasn’t the pure dove he claimed to be.

However, this Adonis guy was way worse than I expected. The spirits I talked to said that Alvaro had understated just how dangerous and messed up Adonis was. I could see an image of someone of mixed indigenous and white ancestry like Alvaro. And he had an aura as black as a void in space. Nothing on Earth is supposed to have an aura like that.

He was frustrated he couldn’t kill off Alvaro. And he did have magic. Lots of magic. Western Hermitic magic I think. Through the divination I felt that Alvaro had a security team keeping tabs on Adonis.

I also felt there was far more to the story then he was letting on. So I tactfully asked him if there were other details I could use for the divination. He emailed me a short background for him and Adonis. A sort of origin story.

“Esteemed M

In response to your questions, I will tell you that I held the government position a year ago. I have not had contact in that area of government until then. I began to carry out my profession in the private sector so as not to be near those people. I am only involved in my local government; so I consider that I can speak freely with you on this subject. Regarding this man, Adonis, I can tell you that I met him many years ago around 2004 and 2005, as we were internship companions in an office while we were studying at the university.

At that time he was a very happy man. A very different sort to whom he is now. He was involved in a car accident due to drunk driving. He collided with a tree and his companion, his best friend, died. For this, he was imprisoned for a time until he managed to get out of prison.

I knew that event transformed him. And his time behind bars also transformed him into someone I no longer knew. I stopped having contact with him since then. Until we met again last year, during the job I told you about. I really appreciate the attention you give when reading my messages and I am attentive to anything you may need.

Sincerely,

Alvaro,”

His story didn’t add up. From what he told me, there was zero reason for this guy to be angry with him. And yet reading the story and reading the energy of the past, I could feel so much anger. It had boiled over time into a primal rage. Like Adonis wanted to tear Alvaro apart limb from limb.

He wasn’t telling me everything and probably never would. But whatever. It’s not my battle. If these two want to wipe each other out and then duke it out in the afterlife, that’s their problem. At this point, I’m only interested in two things.

One is getting paid good money. And the other is ensuring that innocent people don’t get caught in the crossfire. I began to have vague impressions about Adonis learning Hermeticism in prison. Someone opened Adonis up to that world. Showed him how to use magic.

And it served him well. Because it opened doors for him in business and in government. You’d think somebody with a record for killing someone while drunk driving would have a hard time getting a position anywhere. So how did he get such a lofty position? I also suspected he learned a lot about the world in there. Kill or be killed.

And something else too. Adonis’ magic should have caused Alvaro’s finances to go to the toilet. Even to cause health problems. So I started asking myself if Alvaro also practices . Or if he just had immunity from magic in his bloodline.

Some people have strong bloodlines from witch ancestors. And those ancestors watch out for them. Make them partially immune to sorcery. Or to bad luck in general. People who seem to have “the golden touch” and can make anything prosper.

A man with the level of magic that I sensed Adonis had, should have been able to take Alvaro out with sorcery. I also saw that Alvaro had spiritual portals all over the place. And lots of dark clouds in the spiritual world around his home. He’d purposely kept all of this out of his emails to me. So what else had he lied about?

I was going to find out.

Death on the Horizon

The Virgin of Mount Carmel or simply La Virgin del Carmen in Spanish. Mary as the Queen of the Dead. She has the power to free souls from Hell and Purgatory.

A few days ago, I got a nasty feeling. My land lady is a Romani woman. One of her animals almost died. And the red scarf around her neck that she uses to protect herself from the evil eye was loosening. Some nasty person whom she is already aware of had sent her a curse.

And said animal absorbed it. After the incident, I started getting a warning from my own spirits. And I am now doing special protective rituals for myself.

Leading the lost and angry souls out

Not too long after that, I received a blog post notification from an Orisha Temple in California. And they had a very interesting thing to say. They were warning of sudden death.

IFA To Overcome Death from OTURAOYEKU

In Yoruba religion, we have sacred signs. And they have different stories attached to them. They tell various stories that are sacred texts. But this sign I did not recognize. It’s called Oturaoyeku.

I had to call up an old Santero from Cuba to look it up. Apparently it’s referred to as “the devil’s mark” and a “sign of demonic power”. It means there are people plotting mischief or harm of some sort. Betrayal that could lead to murder. Curses from unethical practitioners.

Strange deaths, bad luck of every sort, the works. I looked it up later for myself and yes. This is a sign of corruption and vice. It symbolizes the “rot of corpses”. It means “even the Devil has a protective Egun” (spirit of the dead, a spirit guide).

This is a metaphor reminding us that everyone, even bad people, have spiritual protectors. And these evil spirits aid them in causing harm to good people. Speaking from past experience, that’s very true. Also we have a Mercury Retrograde headed our way next Saturday (Jan 30th, 2021). Which means Hermes is headed towards his cthonic aspect of Terrestrial Hermes.

Terrestrial Hermes, the guide of the dead

Hermes as a God of the dead. Their guide and protector. Hermes is a God of many things. From magic to technology, to languages, and business. Not just communication.

So when he enters his reaper aspect, everything he’s in charge of goes in reverse. Marriages break down, businesses go down, friends become enemies, etc.. And of course money problems. So now is not a time to make projects. Now is not a time to argue with anyone or try to prove yourself right. It will all backfire on you.

Now is the time to honor your dead through Hermes. Ask for his guidance. Retrogrades happen for a reason. And that reason is that things need to be corrected. And given the clusterfuck of a year we had in 2020, that’s an understatement.

Meditate, be a hermit. And stay the hell out of trouble. If someone mouths off to you, ignore them. Be polite and move the fuck on. It isn’t worth it.

Because all it takes is one confrontation. Just one, and you could get beat up. Or arrested, cursed, hell even killed. It isn’t worth it.

Leading them to their eternal resting places

So we all need to slow down. Don’t go out as much. Try to avoid dangerous situations. During a normal retrograde, accidents happen. But given that the Babalawos have sensed death in the air this isn’t something you want to tempt. And have a lot of patience because you need it.

They prescribe using Iyerosun. It’s a type of magical powder that comes from a tree named the Iyosun tree. Loosely translated it means Iyosun powder. It’s wood dust normally made by termites. And it’s blessed with ashe (divine grace) by the Babalawos.

The instructions are in their post. However, you should only do this if you are either a Babalawo or have some kind of knowledge on it. For non initiates that will be a lot harder. Unless you can find someone in your area who practices. If not I would suggest doing an offering to Orula and Odudawa for some heavenly protection.

You don’t have to be a Santero for that. I’ve seen Rootworkers pray to Orula and give him offerings. Do a divination and ask for help. Ask them what they want as an offering. Or even look it up.

It won’t have the exact same effect as what is prescribed. But the Orishas always listen to those who wish for help. Same with other divine beings. Just make sure you respect the culture and heritage. If you have questions book a reading with the Babalawos.

I normally offer that myself. But in these matters, these are high priests and have greater knowledge and spiritual authority. Or if you have a God you already feel comfortable with or a Saint or whoever, ask them. This isn’t a contest. Everyone has their own spirituality that works for them.

If you wish to work in your own culture, but need a few tips, book a reading with me. Studying folk magic prepared me for helping others to carve out their own rituals. Make it there’s. Regardless, there’s a few things that the Santero I spoke with gave me as advice during this time.

– He said I should pray to Orula and Odudawa. For protection of myself and family.

– Make offerings to Babalu Aye and Oro.

Babalu Aye handles disease. Oro is a very strange being that didn’t quite make it to Cuba. Essentially he is a God of the dead and necromancy, and he punishes the wicked. When he kills them, their ghosts join his group or entourage and they punish people for him

him.

A Babalawo first told me about him. But good luck getting any real information. His cult in Nigeria is a mystery religion, for men only. It’s a secret society. And when they do their night time rituals, people know to stay in doors.

There was a controversy in Nigeria a few years ago. It was over a Muslim woman at was out on the road at night. The cult was doing a procession in the streets with drums. People are supposed to stay in doors. But she was out at night and had encountered the men doing their rituals.

A taboo that hasn’t been broken in a long time. I can’t remember too much except that I think she got hurt. And it made a huge religious debate. The question was raised about whether or not everyone in a community, should be subject to taboos from religions they don’t practice. Regardless, Oro’s cult and it’s secrets are known only to those who initiate.

What I do know from a Paranormal case where I asked a Babalawo for help, is that Oro and Babalu Aye are often called upon together. They’re given offerings and called upon for protection from evil spirits. From Black Magic. From cursed lands and weird deaths etc.. So it makes sense this old Santero would tell me to call upon them. Apparently we are to ask from protection from them as well.

– Wear a Cross or Protective Charm around your neck.

He says that at this time, the Devil’s power will be at it’s strongest. That in his day, he was told to wear holy items around his neck if something like this came about. It wasn’t always a cross either. Sometimes he would wear some kind of amulet in the form of a small charm bag around his neck. At other times a tiger’s eye stone, or a medal of a Saint.

So no matter the religion, wear something protective around your neck. A crystal, a small bag or ring. He even mentioned having small family heirlooms blessed. You could wear that around your neck and it would work too. He didn’t go too deep into it except that it was a taboo he observed.

In my case I don’t have my necklace because it broke recently. So I am using a red band blessed by by the Romani woman with the medals of St. Benedict around my wrist. The use of charms is a very important taboo to follow now.

– Avoid all forms of negative thinking, action, or speech

What he was told when he was a young man, was that the bad spirits can hear you more clearly under this sign. So if you complain about something, or just say something nasty in general, they’ll make it worse. They’ll take it as an open invitation to come bother you. Even if it’s something nasty about a person who is nasty themselves. Don’t speak on it.

Don’t do curses or just retribution spells. Instead do offerings to your higher powers and let them handle stuff for you. These beings want to give you enough rope to hang yourself with. Don’t give them that satisfaction. And with a retrograde, that is likely to happen almost anywhere.

So don’t just quarantine because of the pandemic. Staying out of the streets is a good thing even if we didn’t have a plague on our hands.

– Beware of betrayal. And beware of gifts from enemies.

You have no idea what they’re really giving you. A special emphasis was made on witches who curse objects they gift you. These objects are supposed to turn your life upside down.

– Beware when divining

He mentioned something about these spirits trying to reach us when we divine. If we must divine it should only be in daylight hours. Never in the night. And only if we know how to block negative spirits from messing with our visions and messages. This is something very prevalent in this sign.

Especially with the use of cards I am told. Which is probably some kind of psychic interference these entities do in this sign. They seem to cause confusion and misinformation. Which leads me to the next taboo.

– Don’t make decisions with a bad mind

The bad spirits will make life more stressful. They will try to spin you every which way. To get you off guard so that you can make a mess out of your life. These are things that sound a lot like a Retrograde. But unlike a retrograde, this is not for your own good.

It’s meant to take you backwards in life.

– Beware of dark spirits

Specifically, beware of Eggun Buruku or “dark dead”. These are the angry ghosts of people who either weren’t good in life. Or they died in horrible ways, were forgotten and lost by their descendants etc.. They’ll be roaming the streets more than usual. Many cultures or faiths have their own version of dark ghosts. The Japanese even had their own books detailing what kinds of Yūrei (angry ghosts) were out there.

So probably brush up on your banishing rituals and recharge your charms. And when walking into your house, walk backwards with your back entering the home. Otherwise, certain spirits can follow you inside. This is something they do in Trinidad to break your tracks so entities can’t follow you in.

– Avoid being out at night if you can. If you have to be out, ward your car and yourself with charms and prayers.

– Treachery from children. Whatever that means.

There’s a bunch of other stuff associated with this sign and all of it is bad. But I think I made my point. Oh and one last thing, cleansing baths. And the use of holy water. To cleanse your soul and mind.

Or if you are good with herbs, cleanse with that. Cleanse daily to avoid dark energy in yourself and your body. Be safe everyone,

– M

General Yang Xin & his Lessons in 2021

Han versus Huns

I choose this image not because I view the Han Dynasty as “heroic”. In fact I have a great admiration for the people of Mongolia. I choose it because it’s perfect for this year. Angry people with weapons killing each other. And the darkness of winter.

I can’t say I’m surprised at the lessons of 2021. I knew that the Chinese Astrologers would be right. General Yang Xin, the Tai Sui of this year has removed the mask of hypocrisy from many. My spirits were also correct in telling me this was a year would be for ending the conflicts and problems of the previous year. And finally I realize that I was correct in what I felt on New Year’s Day.

Just moments after midnight. When I felt the intense spiritual pressure on my head. I felt like a walnut that would be cracked. I knew then that this year was going to be shitty as well. Probably worse than last year.

Though I still hope we’ll be proven wrong.

But I have learned hard lessons from the General. I started meditating with him just a few days ago. And I learned to find solace in the darkness of my own soul. No this isn’t a goth thing. The dark doesn’t need to be some twisted and tortured thing.

I haven’t done shadow work in a long time. And the General has been getting me back into it. Shadow Work for those who don’t know, is when you talk to your Doppelgänger. Your spirit double. The thing is there’s more than one double.

And this double is the dark side of every person. It is your literal shadow that you cast when light hits you. So you enter a meditation and basically talk to yourself. Your shadow has all your repressed desires. Your anger and your hate if you don’t meditate with it.

If you ignore your shadow, it becomes unbalanced. Hence stories of malevolent Doppelgängers who seem to hate their living twins. Or people even killed by them. These are angry shadow versions of themselves. The first time I spoke to mine, he hated me.

Because my shadow had become the living embodiment of all my self loathing. And he hated it. He hated that I treated myself like crap. Because he was me, and therefore I was abusing him. So it was more complicated.

But after I began listening to myself, and learning not to hate myself, things changed. He’s still dark because he’s a shadow. His existence is some kind of energy humans can’t comprehend. But he isn’t violent anymore. And by loving him I learned to love myself, because he is me, an aspect of me.

In the old days, I would sleep with a girl even if she treated me like crap. Or if she had pretended not to know me before, then showed up wanting a booty call. Now I’d just tell them to fuck off. Or I politely decline. Something that my teenage self would have decried as blasphemy.

Because I learned that I am worth something. I am worth being loved. Truly loved and cared for. Not treated like shit. And believe me, that I can say this now is revolutionary.

Because I was so sad and needy all of the time (which I hid behind my playboy exterior) that I slept with anyone who offered. My shadow forced me to take a hard and good look at myself. Something I never did. I grew up in a cult. And part of all this screwing around was rebellion on my part.

But it was also that I was devalued for most of my life. Even by my family who I’m sure wouldn’t agree with this if they were reading it. They basically taught me not to complain. Because if I dared thought I deserved more then what I got from them, I was just being a pest. Or being spoiled and selfish.

And so it has taken me many years of shadow work to remove this kind of programming. It was first taught to me by my medicine woman when I was being trained in some of the Red Road. Let me tell you, native magic isn’t all fluffy bunnies and crap. I was taught that part of my healing was I needed to meditate inside my own pain. To understand it, learn from it, take power away from it, and heal it away.

Lots of discipline goes into this kind of magic. At the time I hadn’t realized it even had a name. I heard wiccans refer to it as shadow work. Later I did it with different religions. Different Gods or spirits.

And now it’s General Yang Xin calling me back to it. And I have learned a lot about myself. And I have learned new things. And I am trying my best to end bad ideas and programs. Yang Xin is teaching me to stand up for myself.

So I ask all of you reading this, what are you doing this New Year? What are you using it for?

– M

New Year’s Report : 2021

Venus, ruling planet of 2021. Called “The Little Treasure” in Astrology due to it’s benefits and blessings

We have a lot to cover this year. First let’s get the Tai Sui of the Year out of the way. As well as other things :


https://miamimagus.wordpress.com/2020/12/15/astrological-forecast-for-december-2020-the-last-forecast-of-the-year

Although this was the last forecast of 2020, this covers a whole bunch of things. The other thing that catches my attention is that it comes on a Friday. Friday is usually for ending things. Not for starting new projects. This means this next year will more than likely be about finishing projects or taking care of problems that need to be taken care of. 


Not about embarking on new projects. This is about fixing our lives and ending the nastiness of these last few years. If you already did that and think you can manage embarking on new projects, awesome. More power to you. The new year has come on the back of the Long Night’s Moon.


Also called the Full Cold Moon or simply the Cold Moon. The Moon of Midwinter which reaps and destroys negativity. This Moon influences our new year. So again, this year is for ending all of the bad from the last few years. Work with the moon on this.


It does so in the sign of Cancer. This sign belongs to the negative polarity. And it’s a water sign. So it magnifies cleansing. And it’s also a psychic-empathic sign. 


A total cleansing of the soul. So this year is the time for reaping. Killing the dark things that no longer serve you. And planting and preparing for the things you want. For planting in order to harvest later, but before you can do that, you need to kill all the weeds. 


Capricorn Horoscope for 2021

When I was praying to the Gods of the New Year, I had this heaviness hit me from the crown of my head. This was strange because I cleansed. I protected myself well. Followed all the rituals and then some. This new year comes with heavier baggage than the last one I think. 

~ The Letter of the Year from Cuba ~

From Ile Afroboricua on Facebook https://m.facebook.com/afroboricua


The Babalawos from Cuba have a different and more positive take. And in their divination we are going to be ruled by the Orishas (Yoruba Gods) Olokun and Oshun. Olokun is a very mysterious Deity. It’s unknown whether Olokun is male or female. All Gods and especially the Orishas are transexual entities.

The Letter of the year in Spanish. This is the document I did the translation from

They don’t really have a gender because Gods entail all things. Deities do normally have a set gender they like to use as their default. A preferred form they like to use amongst many. But Olokun is unknown. The story goes that this Orisha had taken human form once. 


And was chased away by dogs to the bottom of a river. So Olokun never leaves the water and is hidden so deep within the caves and water ways that he/she is never seen. The main belief is that Olokun represents the mysteries of water. And Oshun is the Goddess of love, prosperity, nature, magic, and many other things. She also rules rivers. 


Ika Fun is the sacred text or Odu (oddun) of the year. The main message is,


“A blessing of firm and safe health on Earth that Orula will provide”

Also, this year’s flag is blue with yellow trims. The colors of Olokun and Oshun.

 
(Source : http://www.rcm.cu/dan-a-conocer-la-letra-del-ano-2021/)


Other information


– A sacrifice must be made to Obatala. One quail. Sixteen slices of bread. And Cacao, Cascarilla (egg shell powder), and two white candles. 

 – In addition to this, we are told to mop the floors of our houses with the Eight herbs of Obatala (This is a recommended house cleaning for the new year.)


– Another sacrifice must be made on behalf of Oshun and Olokun. The sacrifice is one rooster, one river stone, river water, bread crumbs, dirt from sixteen different places, clothing drenched in your own sweat, eight strips of (cloth) of different colors, and other ingredients. 


Phrases of the year :


“He who laughs last, has the best laugh,”

“Sometimes what you don’t like is exactly what you have to do,”


~ Orixa Regente (Ruling Orixa) of 2021 ~

From : https://www.deviantart.com/oradiancporciuncula/art/Oxala-Obaluaie-e-Oxum-603860687

Orixa is the portugese spelling for Orisha. The Candomble religion is similar to Santeria. Only the slaves that went to Brazil preserved other Orishas that the slaves in Cuba didn’t. Their priests also perform a divination to see who rules the year. And in theirs it’s Oxum and Oxalá (Oshun and Obatala). 


In both divinations we see Oshun take a prominent role. And even though Obatala isn’t the reigning Orisha in the Letter of the year, he’s still clearly important. Usually the divinations go in polar opposite points. Different Yoruba Deities and different messages. Which makes sense because each person divines for their own land.

And also because Candomble and Santeria have different traditions mixed with Yoruba religion. But this year it’s interesting to see just how close the divinations were. 


“The ruling Orixás of 2021 are Oxum and Oxalá and, with them, the next year will benefit from protection, unity, learning and patience . Through this co-regency, you will feel the divine blessings of the two entities in different aspects of your life,”

As the first day of the year falls on a Friday, 2021 will be ruled by Oxalá, known as the ‘father of the orixás’. However, he will not be alone in this command, as the ruling planet will be Venus, the planet that represents Oxum, called “mother of the orixás”. In addition, Oxum is represented by Odu (the numerological sum of 2021) with the number 5,”

Therefore, the ruling Orixás of 2021 symbolize the role of mother and father of all human beings. In other words, the energy of family unity, the valorization of the sacred feminine , tranquility and harmony is expected. With Oxalá in charge, you will be blessed by his light and protection. With that, you will feel safe enough to develop personally, professionally and spiritually, as the Orixá brings wisdom and patience as virtues. On the other hand, Oxum indicates that the year will be driven by forces of prosperity, independence and balance. 


In this way, the orixá will act on the self-esteem and confidence of people, especially women. Both Oxalá and Oxum as the 2021 regent Orixás carry the importance of maintaining a good family relationship as a principle. So don’t be surprised if you see that your friends are getting pregnant and raising their own families,”

“In Umbanda and Candomblé, Oxalá is the orixá that aligns the forces that connect people and nature, thus establishing harmony between all living beings. In this way, it brings, in addition to peace and quiet, the peace and calm required to end a cycle. This is because the ruling orixá of 2021 represents the end itself, that is, Oxalá defines the moment of the end of situations, periods and even lives. With the awareness that nothing is eternal, you can understand this orisha as the guardian of the balance of the Universe. Known as the ‘father of the orixás’.

He has two ‘identities’. As a young man, he receives the name of Oxaguiã and adopts paradoxical characteristics, because, while he is calm, he is also quarrelsome; already older, his name is Oxalufã and assumes a calm, patient and fair personality,

What’s interesting here is that this part aligns with what I said in the beginning of the report. My divination with the spirits and Gods told me this year was to finish business. To reap or destroy the things we don’t need anymore. To end cycles. It seems that is what Oxala/Obatala will be doing this year. 


“Oxum is the female orixá that governs feelings such as love and affection. Furthermore, it is she who maintains the natural order of the Universe, including fertility. For this reason, Oxum is symbolized as the ‘mother of the orixás’ and intercedes for all human beings as if they were their children. In Umbanda and Candomblé, the orixá is the daughter of Oxalá and her image is represented by her feminine strength and beauty. In this way, Oxum can be found in the calm of the fresh waters of rivers and waterfalls by those who seek to heal their wounds, especially those of love.

Therefore, the 2021 ruling orixá is frequently sought to resolve love issues. But Oxum is also known for bringing peace, stability and balance to distressed lives,”

“Oxalá and Oxum bring the importance of valuing both your spiritual and family side. Under the command of these two orixás, 2021 will be considered a period of closing cycles for the beginning of another, as it will be a year of personal and material growth, hard work and rewards,”

Oxalá and Oxum forecast as ruling orixás of 2021:

Spiritual peace ; Balance; Family union; Stable relationships ; Professional effort; Elimination of the superfluous; And open paths.

 “In addition, with the strengths of Oxum and Oxalá, you can fulfill your dream of becoming a mother, as 2021 promises to be a very fertile year. Knowing the right moon to get pregnant, you guarantee the growth of your family, next year,”

“The last message about the influences of the ruling orixás of 2021 is that Oxalá and Oxum arrive to guide you to cut the bad by the roots. So, learn to listen to them, however difficult it may be, because, by eliminating bad energies, your life will take the right direction,”

(Source: https://www.astrocentro.com.br/blog/previsoes/orixa-regente-2021)

And again, they seem to have caught onto the same energy that my spirits and I felt in the divination. Amazing. They also took a very positive stance for this year just as the Babalawos did. 


Ruling Planet of the YearAstrologers from Brazil believe the ruling planet of the year is Venus. A planet love Goddesses such as Oshun rule. They believe this means that contrary to Chinese predictions, we will have peace and mutual respect. With a cool head for negotiations. Honestly, no one force rules it all. 

Maybe we will have some positivity after all. But beware, I doubt we’ll have peace on Earth either. The Sun will enter Aries on March 21st of this year. Supposedly we’ll all be a lot more social and feel lightness. I’ll believe it when I see it though. 


Venus favors rewards and many blessings. And again, it favors peaceful negotiations. 


(Source: https://www.astrocentro.com.br/blog/previsoes/influencia-planeta-regente-2021)

Hellenic New Year from last July


Strangely enough, when my Hellenic Temple and I celebrated the Athenian New Year just a few months ago, the Priests came to a similar conclusion. For my temple, the year belongs to Herakles and Aphrodite.

Herakles brings stability and strength just like Obatala and General Yang Xin. And Aphrodite is similar to Oshun in bringing love and unity. So it seems we are all tuning into the same frequency. 


And finally, I finish this with a list of various New Year’s traditions

https://www.atlasobscura.com/articles/new-years-traditions 


https://isiopolis.com/2020/12/31/our-lady-of-the-new-year/


New Year’s Cleansings from Puerto Rican Sancistas 


https://youtu.be/mRWuW4h7H1k

Forecast for this year

https://youtu.be/dpeqtuR_Utg


And the most important, the list of 2021 Planetary Retrogrades


https://www.findyourfate.com/astrology/year2021/2021-planetretrogrades.html

– M

Of Broken Dreams, and Longing for the Road

The book “On the Road” by Jean-Louis Lebris de Kérouac, alias Jack Kerouac

It’s kind of funny that a US Marine like Jack Kerouac, ended up being the pioneer of a rebel generation. And in essence a rebel movement like the Beat Movement. A movement that brought a left wing social revolution. With an emphasis on cultural transformation. So I have been doing a lot of thinking.

And have decided that it’s time for me to move on. Things aren’t working in this new house as I thought it would. I’m going to have to leave. Now, as much as I love to travel, I hate moving. The packing up of everything, needing to bust my hump off to move heavy furniture.

Just to carry all that shit again to another apartment, and having to unpack. Yeah it’s a pain. And I’m like a caretaker of places. Once I get familiar with an area and it’s spirits I’d rather not have to do this shit again. It feels like losing friends and family.

But I am not progressing here as I thought I would. And I started thinking about how much cheaper a trailer would be. Specifically I would want a Globetrotter trailer like the one from the tv series Grimm.

Off into nature

I wonder about going off grid. Well, going as off grid as a blogger would. Being in nature. Away from this shit hole we call “civilization”. I long for silence.

But whenever I do get it, I start missing human companionship. I guess what I really want is to be surrounded by good people. None of this negative shit all the time. Away from bills and predatory institutions (coughs* US Government). I don’t know what I want in life.

But I know I can’t find it here anymore. That’s why I have been silent. Sadly, it looks like I am going to have to do the Millennial thing and move in with my mom. Something I was hoping not to have to do. But, I haven’t had a single freaking client in months.

And short of begging for change under a bridge somewhere, I don’t have much of a choice. I have wondered about going on the road with someone. But I don’t know if I could handle taking my dogs with me. They take up a lot of my time. They’re my children.

I just want to run, screaming elsewhere. I remember in my MySpace days, there was this kid. His real name was Kevin, but his name there was “A Man of No Nation”. Man this kid lived. He traveled to Colombia and lived there for many years.

He was an English teacher. Spent time with paramilitaries and FARC rebels I think. He had such an amazing life. And I want that for myself. But I also know it comes at the cost of a sacrifice.

I think I am too cozy in urban areas. In convenience. Back then I was a hardened Socialist. Still am, but I feel like I failed my younger self. Like I am at a crossroads and at a mid life crisis.

If I could have revealed myself now to who I was back then he’d be horrified. He wanted to change the world. Start a Revolution, and get laid. Like all the time. If that’s too graphic for you I apologize.

Actually, no I don’t. This is my blog. Fuck you. I want to join the mile high club at the top of a mountain somewhere. With an Ak right next to me and a red flag on the other side.

I want to hide in an underground bunker with all the animals in the world. And genetically modified trees that can grow computers. And endless food that nourishes me, yet doesn’t make me fat. I want to join secret societies and have weird inside jokes with my pals. I want everything.

But I also want a stable place to come home to. So dear readers, what do you think I should do? In the old days, I’d just forget the world for a month or two. And get into hedonism. Not give a fuck about anyone or anything. Now? I have my fur children to worry about.

My mother to take care of because my little sister is living her dreams. And I’m the one who has to protect our mother. If I don’t who will? She once told me I was her staff that helped her walk. But I need a staff too. So many of our generation need it.

It would be nice to fuck like there’s no tommorow. And then wake up to realize there is a tommorow to wake up to. A new dawn where all the troubles melt away. Now wouldn’t that be something?

Honoring Elegua on Father’s Day

This Father’s Day I am at my uncle’s house. This is a  picture of his Elegua altar. In Santeria, Elegua is the Yoruba God of the Crossroads. Altars like these are placed behind the front door. Or in this case next to the front door.

This is my Uncle’s altar to Elegua. Unlike my parents who abandoned the traditional faith, my Uncles on my mother’s side (as well as myself) continue the tradition. Elegua, must be honored first before and after dinner. And before and after all rituals much like Hestia in the Greek faith. Elegua loves candies and toys, for he is the child of the Gods.

He loves children. On all his feast days, a person honoring Elegua must throw a party for the neighborhood children in his honor. Giving them all the sweets and toys they wish. The number sacred to him is three. Coconuts are sacred to him.

You cannot eat raw coconuts. That is taboo. You can eat Coconut candies and such things from a coconut but not the raw stuff. Coconuts are his head so that is like eating his head. He also loves mangos and guava.

IMG_20180617_160719I have personally given him honey cookies and candies from the middle east that I bought at a dollar store and he seems to like that too. And of course Rum and a Cigar.