Usually it takes until Samhain for me to start dreaming this vividly about the dead. But then again for me, the dead are like any other guides. They can appear when they want. I wrote this down while my memory was still fresh. My Abuelo or grandpa came to visit me in the dreamscape.
Only he didn’t look decrepit as he did in his final days. He appeared to me the way I always knew him. Healthy and strong. And good natured. I saw him at my grandmother’s apartment complex strangely enough.
It was as if she too was there but in the background. Like she knew I needed the space to be with my grandfather. My grandmother was taken care of until her last dying moments. But with the exception of myself and my mother and sister, my grandfather didn’t have that. He spent his last days in a home.
It broke our heart. He died alone in his room. The nurses hasn’t figured it out until it was too late. So I always felt guilty that we hadn’t given him the same amount of attention our grandma did. But with her, she has many who took care of her.
I saw him in his regular jeans and button shirt and his olive green cap. And as soon as he saw me he was so happy.
“¡Oye! Pepito! Es tan bueno verte ¡Carajo!”
(Hey Pepito! It’s so good to see you Goddamn it!)
He was so happy to see me. He didn’t expect me to be there. He hugged me tight. And I remembered thinking this was him before he got sick enough to end up in the home. So I remembered asking a God to twist time and space for me.
I think it was Apollo. I asked him to make it so that I was living with my grandpa until he passed so he wouldn’t be living in that home.
“That’s going to take a lot of work,” he said. Not in words but in thoughts and feelings.
I replied please to do it. So in my dream my grandpa never went to that home. He never became decrepit and when he did die, he was still a strong man. He passed in a gentle sleep on a Sunday morning in my dream. Sunday, the most “boring day of the week,”.
So I suppose it was fitting he passed on that day. It would probably have been the most interesting thing about his Sunday. And I finally got to do all the things we were never able to do. But most importantly, I could just be with him. Read a book at home, make sure he was okay and went to bed early.
Get him dinner. Go on road trips together. Visit his crazy friends from Little Havana. I woke up slightly better. I still wish this had happened in real life.
But I also believe the Gods let me change it on a smaller scale. In my dreams so that I could let go of the guilt that was consuming me. The ancient Greeks believed in Incubation. A form of dream sleep that acts as a healing suspended animation. You’re not really suspended.
Your body is still working. But it does something to you to heal you. Apollo was the chief God in charge of incubation as far as I know. And I think his son Asclepius. I’m healing myself from a disease right now.
Perhaps Lord Apollon was giving me some incubation as part of my healing. In Animistic beliefs, all diseases start out as some form of energy. Actually everything does. So maybe Apollon was telling me that my cold might have some of its roots in past pains. And that was one of them.
It was a beautiful dream filled with meaning. And it was recuperative as well. Part of me was slightly sad that it wasn’t real. But I was mostly happy. It helped me face things inside. So I thank Apollon, Asclepius, and my Abuelo for this. I spoke to my mother about this and she seemed to be happy with the dream as well
She was happy. As if just telling her the dream was enough for her to experience it. Strangely enough, we watched a re-run of “Cold Case” and it deals with a dying man. And his family, and how they spent his last moments. The Gods really know how to give out signs and omens eh?
Thank you for this experience my Theoi and my Ancestors. If you’d like to know more about my grandpa, I wrote his obituary on my blog. Click the link to see.
Adventures of A Mage In Miami 
Hey, when I click the page is missing. I wanted to post a comment.When I was 16 and in high school at Christmas, I had all four IMPACTED wisdomteeth removed. I ended up looking like a puffer fish and was sicker than shit hit by an asteroid.In fact I was suicidal. I could barely swallow. The taste in my mouth was foul. Meat had gotten stuckfrom one attempt at eating. So I prayed in my mind since I couldn’t make much sound. I was in my bed at my parents’ house in Westfieldwhere I would live from 1956 until 1996. I started with Jesus and moved on through a list of every deity I could think of while blinded by throbbing painand the horror of not being able to really move my face. Jesus, Krishna, etc. I gave each one, I think 10 seconds, to stop the pain or at least ease it up. ANY reliefPLEASE GOD, blah blah When I got to Apollo, I was desperate. If you heal me, I’ll dedicate my virginity to you (I won’t ever get married, blah blah)BAMM INSTANT relief. I was shocked. I started to heal. The pain decreased enough to shake me to my core. And sure enough, no matter HOW hard I threw myself at guys, I couldn’t get a date. If I got a date, I got dumped right away.If I was able to find anyone to go out with for more than a few dates, I got dumped. I finally had sex with a gay ice skater in July 1981 when I was 27 out of desperation. It was AWFUL. Probably wasn’tI’ve asked “experts” and there’s a possibility that why I never felt anything was he really wasn’t doing much. He died of AIDS in 1986 and I never dated again. I married my gay friend who had no interest in sex with me but whoneeded to get his medical license back after getting fired from within 3 months of finishing a 6 year residency in neurosurgery.The marriage was HORRIBLE. He was abusive and now lives and works in Vegas. So back to Apollo. I knew about his work with dreams. But what’s very odd is how he DID grant me a lot of psychic ability and the ability to generate healing energy at will. The reason why I’m blathering on sounding bat shit crazy is I have NEVER (although I’ve found an article about devotees in Greecethat still worship Apollo) anyone at all that ever invoked HIS name. I rescued Brian Mott and his dog on July 8, 2021 and he’s living with me – friends without benefits. Brian is a Virgo born at 11:50 pm. on September 22 so he’s right on the cusp with Libra.My OCD, PTSD husband was born at 7 a.m. on August 22 during the cusp with Leo. Harry is Virgo rising and Brian is Cancer rising. BOTH suffer from PTSD. It’s like Apollo is STILL making sure I keep my promise. My question to you is, how well do you know Apollo? Would he REALLY care about whether I EVER get to know whatit’s like to have a “relationship”? Brian isn’t handsome per se but he has a body that drives me up the wall, and into the plasterand back down into the floor boards where I get stuck in the carpet tack. My girlfriend who has let me talk out the shockof healing a man (who,, I’m positive, would have died that night had I not brought him home and given him a home andpaid the vet bill to save his dog’s life), only to fall madly in love with while driving a truck bed full of stuff to the dump. His phone accidently dialed me. I had no clue. Must not have rung or we were laughing so hard I didn’t hear it.It recorded our conversation as a voicemail. YOu can distinctly hear my voice as what I can only say was a stab in the heartas I realized – MY GOD I’m only 14 years older not 18 and not 16. At the same moment in time you hear him get allanimated and we’re laughing so hard it was hard to drive. Apollo granted my deepest desire for knowledge. I got to be a librarian and I married a man who introduced me to a hoardof books on arcane esoterica. When I want to learn about a subject, it falls in my lap. I meet someone with a short time spansometimes the same day – who knows something about some weird subject. Brian was at a wedding and was a bit drunk. He was getting hit on by a Shoshone woman who really REALLY liked him.UNTIL she invited him to her house in Osino and talked about the ANT people coming out at night. That story tumbeld out last night when I told him about how Harry’s father had had stomach cancer and was healed by a medicineman and his two wives who had emerged OUT of the ‘ground” in the Four Corners Region of NM. The medicine man was a memberof the ANT people. We both freaked each other out. I called Harry and he’s freaked out. I wanted to know more about the Ant people at over chicken piccata and braised potatoes with rosemary in my OWN kitchen,I find that there’s a Shoshone woman in Osino who had the hots for Brian who sees the ANT people on her property at night. THAT is the kind of GIFT Apollo has given me at a VERY high price. So, please, bear with me. WHAT do you know about Apollo REALLY? I had hoped my “pact” with a “mythological” deitywas just that – a codein induced illusion. My dad, by the way, passed away on February 5, 1987 but his birthday was October 11th and for the past two weeks, the energyhere in Spring Creek and ESPECIALLY at my house has been like NOTHING I’ve ever experienced. Crying jags out of nowhere. VERY strange stuff going on. Barbara Ruth Campbell barbara.campbell@frontier.com
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I’m a Hellenistic Pagan (among other things) so I would say I know enough to tell you this : The Gods of all religions but especially the Greeks, are all about keeping pacts and contracts and promises. Spirits too. The irony is that had you made the same pact to Jesus it probably would have happened as well. Except Jesus is more understanding. Simply for whatever reason you chose Apollo for this.
Which probably means there is a special connection already there going back to past lives or perhaps your family. Greek Gods are like “Nope, you made a promise so now you have to keep your end of the bargain,” the good news is that you can change your vow or promise and they usually let go. Your story reminds me of an old legend where a woman made an oath to a Greek Goddess (can’t remember who) to serve as a Priestess and wouldn’t have sex or marry anyone. Well she found a guy she liked but it didn’t work out. And the same thing kept happening until she changed her vow.
So, change your vow. Explain to him that you were a kid suffering great pain. You weren’t in your right mind when you made that vow. And that while you would still like to work with him, you wish to change your vow so that you could have a relationship with whoever you want. Perhaps instead of not having a relationship, you can give something else.
Some of your time to honor him for example. But whatever it is you need to think closely about it and be smart with what you promise. That should solve everything for you. Since you already have a connection to him, call him to you in vision, kneel before him, and with guidance from your spirits work out a new contract. Perhaps offer to learn Hellenismos so you could honor the Greek Gods.
Or at least learn it to the best of your ability.
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